Webster defines Family as: a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head. And/or: a people or group of peoples regarded as deriving from a common stock (RACE).
We however, sometimes regard them as those crazy, annoying, greedy, backstabing, stealing, drunk, lying, sneaky,nosy, drug-addicted users who come to your house uninvited...provided you've told them where you live. We've spent our lives with them, but some know NOTHING about you...and some seem to just not care, but all in all...God birthed you into that unit for a reason... for WHAT/WHY... who knows, but you're HERE.
I was forced into todays topic by my sister (unbeknownst to her. She sent me an email, a personal one (not a forwarded 'it's your day to receive...') but one that not only conveyed feeling from her, but envoked feeling in me. We've lived together FOREVER, but never really got along and now that we don't live together we rarely communicate. I've wondered many times why I've had friends who've gone astray; become disconnected. I've wondered many times why I've had boyfriends who've decided to move on...I've even wondered why despite my relentless efforts to get closer to an individual, they felt NOT. All that; all those wonders, but I've never really wondered why there was such despondency within my own family unit...those I've shared the better parts of life with...those there in the beginning of my lessons. WHY, did I never seem to care to just 'get along'...to even love.
God is calling for ORDER in me today...He's telling me to get my priorities straight. He's asking me to listen to the love that blows through the trees. He wants me to hear the sound of time passing with every drop of rain. AMEND! He's giving opportunity to rejoin, reunite, reconnect, with those estranged members that live right down the street or even in the same house. Things are never really TOO far gone...there's always a way through the Lord.
So today I ask...who's that family member you feel the need to get closer to, to bond with, to just get along and/or to love? After we've thought about the person...start thinking of ways to make it happen. I'm thinking about taking my sister out to dinner!
Thanks guys!
Thursday, April 5, 2007
Family Reunion
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15 comments:
Great reflective piece. I've also been in situations where I connected with someone male or female and for some reason or another just let the relationship drift into the abyss. Taking your sister out would be a good start to make amends. I mean, you've missed soo much of each other's lives. Now a days, I try to make an effort to be around for family events but those events can also be kinda impersonal because you have your favorites and you might not share intimacies with people you rarely talk to. Keep on keeping on just me
Acknowledgement is a great beginning. Sometimes our sense of the "ideal family" is so far from the reality it's just easier to ignore the shortcomings. Bottom line is God is in control and eventually (if you have a heart) you will be convected to close and heal the gaps between those scorned relationships. You , my friend, are in the beginning stages of this process. I am very proud of you.
um...I war with so many of my family members over issues long since passed. After reading a post on embracing taking the higher road, i will nominate a candidate and ask them to meet me at a local coffee shop to iron some things out.
Great idea and if it catches on, you will be partly responsible for starting a revolution of love in the family.
Excellent post, T.
keep em coming.
No doubt something on another level to think about. I think sometimes we have a tendency to treat our relationships with family just like any others on the street. Your post was confirmation that we need the same level of committment in dealing with family as we put into new found love interest that rarely last..... Family is forever and that was not our choice, but the Lords....
It's so interesting that I read this today. My mother and I were planning to go to North Carolina in June to see one of her sisters renew her wedding vows. I was very much looking forward to going, then I got to her house today and she informed that what started as a nice exclusive excursion for the two of us, had mushroomed into darn near a family reunion... my sister and her five children, my brother and his wife and his two children, my oldest brother and now my kids. OMG! Inside I was livid, but after a few moments I tried to convince myself that being with everyone as adults would not be the same as when we were kids. So, after reading this, I will take heed and begin looking forward to the trip again. I will look for ways to bond instead of withdraw. Thanks for sharing.
YES, everyone is so on point with their comments (THANK YOU) it's crazy how much time we seem to waste doing and caring about the wrong things. Like the ole-folks used to say..."give me my flowers now, don't wait till I'm dead and gone" (well something like that...but you know what I'm saying...lol.)
THANK YOU GUYS FOR YOUR COMMENTS
My family is not close. My family is so unusual. It sometimes is so uncomfortable how non-communicative my peeps are. One of us could see the other on the street and not greet. Maybe a nod or a look. Some of us do communicate.
We don't have fam reunions. Shoot, half would be silent while the others talk. My fam is small and we do get together for Mother's Day just for my grandma. Us, grandkids started it a few years ago. My mom's generation sucks at so much it irks me. I love my family and I can only tolerate some of them for a short time.
I am an only child and my mom and I are not close. We are not beefing. Emotional we are detached in so many areas. My grandma is more my mom, she cared of me and still I call her Ma since I was little. Somethings just are how they are. Reaching out to my mom for closeness would not be good right now. I love her and care, I have always been there even when she acted like she did not need anyone's help. I accept we are not close and why. That is the best I can do for now.
I agree w/ Shai - some family members just need to be loved from afar. Shai - I don't know your family, but I would bet my last dolla that it's not as rare as u think;-)...much of my family is estranged (& strange, too:-). My theory: Slavery Backlash.
Good luck to those who can break the pattern of distance & make amends. But, I'll be chilling, working on my own issues and healing myself as I love them all and interact with those who do me little to no further damage.
My family is extremely close, but in the past we have all been wronged by one in particular. Recently that one told me, let's let bygones, be bygones, and i agreed, because in my heart, i never wanted him to suffer, but i did want him to learn and appreciate the family he has. I will forgive, but i won't forget.
Cap, there are some untold stories in my fam. My grandparents I wonder how they got married, they barely acted like a couple, they did go out together unless to shop or do business. No affection.
No one is my fam is beefing. We don't have a bunch of drama in our gatherings. We just have some non-communication going on. I mean my two uncles who are close in age don't talk. My mom is the only who will talk to the others and not care. LOL.
We do for each other. I just sometimes don't like this oddness in communicating. And of course the unique issues in the fam irks me to my core at times.
I am close to my grandma not my mom. My daughter and I are Tight.
these are amazing blog comments. i am overwhelmed at the openness.
just wonderful!
WOW...dc, I totally agree with the level of sharing...THANKS GUYS! Man, it is hard. Capcity; I so agree with some members being loved from afar, but at the same time...it feels sooo good to be 'extremely close' like your family Miz. Shai, the communication things is a doosey...because like you, I do have members that I'd be there for but don't really care for...naw, but just don't really talk to like that. Family is just a deep river we're made to swim in.
all of them
dag...well get too it girl.
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