Ok, now normally I don't do this, but I'ma go-on-in keep da party going...lol. After reading the tall tale (LOL) from deepnthought's archive's I thought about this movie I have called "Love Chronicles" (It's pretty good and funny). The movie is a triology and in one of the stories the woman is reluctant to date this seemingly nice guy because he's only a security guard.
I recogonize how hard it is for so many women to bring themselves to this place of date-thought. I mean, you figure you want someone who's at least on your level and if you're a successfull or up can coming career women with all her own...how can you bend to the point of accepting such a man...is it an act of desperation?
Personally, if I bump into my Mr. Wright and he's working in a gas station...we'd probably never met...heck I've probably already missed out on him. But it's about standards RIGHT? It's about being 'equally yoked'...RIGHT? It's about not lowering your standards and settling...RIGHT? Would you give this kind of guy a chance to even prove himself or show you what he's made of...would you take the time to hear his story, or would you just walk away on site?
p.s. In the movie, the lady got into a scuffle inside her apartment and the security guard had to come to her rescue. She was so upset she didn't really want him to leave and he ended up falling asleep on her couch with his are wrapped around her. When she woke up he told her he won't be seeing her anymore (since she refused his every date request) because he starts his new job at this law firm...he's just passed his Bar was now an official Attorney with this prestigious firm and was only working that job to put himself through school.
What about you guys...could Mr. Wrong be Alright?
Friday, May 11, 2007
Could Mr. Wrong be Alright
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24 comments:
I have did the maybe Mr. I-think-is-wrong with be alright. I have learned if your gut says something believe it.
I have dated mainly blue collar men so I don't have any hangups. I do have a prob if homeboy has been at Mickey D's for 10 years and it not the restaurant mgr or owner.
well, because my mommy was an accountant and my daddy was a blue collar country boy, I grew up with my eyes open. At the same time, I have to be with someone who can really grab and hold my attention.
The person who has my attention right now is in the Navy and usually that is a no no for me. I just comes down to what you want and are willing to overlook.
That story really happened. I have to sit through the jokes every time I bring someone home who I am serious about.
Shai: blue color is one thing...I consider that a man of trade...(I loves them) lol. but I don't think working at mcdonald's is blue collar...even if he is the manager (see, this is why I'm single) lol.
deepnthought: that's what's up on ya mom and dad...I actually really love a HARD WORKING MAN... I love a man who's good with his hands, but he's got to be somewhat of an intellectual...because I love to talk about different things and I've dated dudes who'll say "what dat mean" and I CAN'T deal.
LOL. I agree with Diva. I am not into military men , I almost became a military wife. NOT! Holding my attention is important.
I have met guys who have bored the hell out of me, from thuggish to too intellectual. LOL.
A man who can be a good friend to me is a good start.
deepnthought: LOL... girl, I believe you...who'd want to make something like that up...lol.
I actually (after I saw that movie) talked to this guy who worked in walmart...I actually liked the way he approached me and I was like...'who the heck I think I am...to turn my nose up at somebody just because of their job'...so I forgave myself for being the shallow fool I was and had a really good convo with him, we exchanged numbers and...
LOL, never really hooked up because all he wanted to do was come to my house and chill..."I'd just like to come over and talk" NO... I don't really have men at my house when my sons are home..."well if I'm going to deal with you, I'd like to get to know you sons"...DUDE, you out cha mind...be easy...now's not the time.
The last time he called me, he asked if I'd like to engage myself in some good ol fashioned relations with him, while his live in girlfriend cooked a fine meal....UM UM...DELICIOUS...NOT! LOL
Opps I meant Deepnthought's comments. LOL.
i've dated the cat at the gas station. actually, he was a worker at burger king. we would have made it, but brotha had too many demons. i wrote about that in my blog too. if you wanna check it out, it's under my 'most memorable stains' entitled 'pushing off weight' and 'the story of leron'.
JMW: I have to say I am so tired of the let's chill at your house thing. I dislike so much. I know someone who is content with the guy coming over to chill saying when the finally hook up they will date. SMH. Once you start just chillin it doesn't usually move to dating.
nikki: hey lady, did you...that's what's up, I'm really working on that shallowness...LOL. Yeah, Ima have to check that story out.
Shai: YES...I feel the same way...once you start off with that, that's about all it'll be.
er...that movie sucked. that was time in my life I can never get back.
..."I'd just like to come over and talk" NO...
I AM SO NOT MAD AT YOU FOR THAT!!!!LOL
I guess I'll rep the guys:
I'm all about wanting to do well and I understand a woman wanting to make sure she is taken care of.
Really.
But the movie you site is a perfect example of how we all can sleep on an opportunity that is meant for us. A diamond in the rough is still a diamond.
Men are guilty of the same thing. We all need to have a good personal understanding of what is truly important to us, what it means to be truly happy and how to achieve that. The rich and powerful commit suicide too! There are problems at every socio-economic strata.
Find a boo you can be happy with. The rest will take care of itself.
One day I'll have to tell you about my story...
Thanks for stopping by!
sheleth: lol...I thought it was funny...hahah! Yeah, come on dude we can talk on a park bench...how bout that...or even inside the museum.
sojourner: yea...a guy, LOL welcome. Yes, I totally agree with you, but I think it's sometimes hard to erase the preset image of what a man is supposed to be vs what's before you adn when it comes to that we judge. It's not right, and we miss out on a lot of things. In all actually, I'd date a man with NO job, but who was ambitious, intelligent and motivated, because those are the qualities that will drive him to success...what ever his idea of that is. Please do come again and share your story...I'd love to hear...you're welcome.
My Mr Right...HAVE A DANG-ON J-O-B! That's it...we can work on increasing the income down the road. I honestly prefer a man that's not toooo financially secure, because past experience shows me that they tend to be a little bit more controlling & possesive. I'd prefer for me & man to build our lives together, work at inspiring & supporting one another.
The only type of man I will never date again is one that either doesn't have a job at all, or only works sporadically (no everyday 9-5 to go to or regular paycheck coming in). Those seem to be the ones who are only looking for a free ride or a woman to take care of their asses...no motivation. But if a brother's got obtainable goals & dreams I'll stick by him strong regardless of his income.
I'll put it like this. After college, Desert Storm was in full effect. I couldn't find a job and ended up being a Fast Food Restaurant Manager. I was the same guy then that I am now. I didn't have a problem with dating because when I opened my mouth I had something to say. Oddly enough, I also had a raggedy Datsun B210 at the time with front end damage and that still didn't stop me. Of course some sisters wouldn't give me play, because they were too superficial, but those that weren't got the opportunity to date a guy who was about more than his image.
My point is, we all are on our way to somewhere, don't deny a brother a shot because you don't like the floor he's currently on. His elevator may still be on it's way up.
Good point. We just have to watch out for the guys who are not moving or are users.
Gosh, this is a tough one for me. I would definitely prefer a "Professional" man, but as most of you have said, sometimes, they can be the worse. More controlling, arrogant, etc. BUT, I don't think they are all that way, so I'm holding out hope. I have dated blue collar brothers and the whole unequally yoked thing has been an issue. I did everything in my power to make those brothers feel secure, but at the end of the day, they couldn't deal. That's also not to say that there isn't a blue collar brother out there who could deal.
At this point, I'm just open. I would prefer a man more on my level professionaly, but if he is at least hard-working and intelligent, won't embarrass me when we're out, the blue collar brother will definitely get some consideration.
It's been difficult Justme...and i understand your plight...i too have had to readjust my thinking on dating, who and why...i am a professional woman, but now i'm looking at the heart of men, and their intentions towards me...are they looking to be my friend, my lover, my supporter, my champion, my bodyguard...or are they just trying to get a hookup? If a man is not in the position i am, that's okay, as long as he has dreams and is progressively working to fulfil those dreams...we may meet at different places, times in our lives, but if we can meld, and build, then it's all good.
kiki: lol @ just have a job, but I feel you.
rich: see, now I'd have been one of those superficial sister's that missed out, but I'm working on that...it's really a shame though (for me) lol.
shai: YES... you've got to watch out for the ones that just DON'T move.
sugar: THANK YOU...LOL. I'm in TOTAL agreement with EVERYTHING you said...so if you find EITHER find out of his has a 'good' buddy and we can double date...LOL.
Miz: I agree with those statements too... it's all about how you treat me, but my thing is...being able to look deep enough to SEE his heart...sometimes I don't even stop to find out...and that's when you might miss something.
THANKS GUYS FOR THE INPUT.
I look for a guy who is stable, resourceful, motivated, intelligent so initially I give the 'blue collar' guy a chance to see if he has those qualities. Unfortunately, I haven't had any luck with that as of yet. The last two BCs I met were content with working odd jobs here and there, and living with relatives with NO aspiration or plan to get out there on their own.
I can't tell you how many times I've heard a guy say "well I'm about to get into real estate" and when I ask him about his plan he's dumbfounded b/c he didn't think it through and thinks it's an easy get-rich-quick scheme.
Women tend to be future oriented so when you see the guy working at the gas station it doesn't scream stability. You find yourself wondering what would happen if he lost his job...how long would it take him to find another without education or skills? It's not about being shallow, it's about stability...no matter how independent a woman says she is, she wants that quality in a man. I know I do.
But like I said before, I will at least converse with the guy to see where his head is and what his goals are before I write him off.
THANK YOU K, that's what I'm saying...and that so funny on the 'real estate' thing...because so many guys are getting into that now...hahaha... that and "I'm in the music business". amazing...thanks for stopping by lady, please do come again.
It seems so important, what somebody does for a living and how much money they can make. At the same time it seems so shallow, because at the end of the day, most intelligent women would pick the man who treated her the best over the man with the most money. We all need to be loved more than we need to be taken care of.
Don't know if you are familiar with Bronze Trinity, a Canadian sister blogger. She took the idea of Mr. Right to a whole new level in a recent post. Check it out at http://bronzetrinity.efx2.com/view/91493/What-I-Want-In-a-Man/
That is so true E.M. but we grow into that way of thinking. What we wanted or required in a mate growing up changes severly as you learn more about yourself...thanks for the heads up on the Bronze Trinity post too.
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