OK people...this might be somewhat unorthodox, so sorry...(LOL). Now...I was having a conversation with someone (a man) last night, who's taken an interest. We talked and since I'm so direct and well...NASTY (attitude), I like to get to the bottom line so I asked him to be specific in what it was he wanted from me...because I don't have time for fake dates just to get to my yams (LOL...ISHA...U LIKE THAT) (sorry) LOL. He didn't seem to understand why I needed/wanted this clarification...so I told him. I've always placed men in TWO catagories:
EFFORT = Dating:
What's required here is time and consistency...this man will have to know that he knows that he knows he's interested BEYOND the bedroom. He's going to have to sacrafice and work hard at this capture (smile). This is not a game people...I take dating seriously, because I usually only date one man at a time, so I really like for us to get into one another (don't be fresh). I want this dude to be adventurous...a spontaneous free spirit...with a creative mind...I don't want him asking me all day...'so, what chu wanna do today'...dude...YOU CAN TELL ME; I love surprises. If he does ask, I want to be able to say...'um, I'm feeling like ice cream' and he says..."GOT IT" and we're off...(OHHHH I LUV THIS DUDE). Now, of course this man has my everything...time energy and fullest attention...the sky has no limit.
Doesn't that sound just dandy?!?...I'd say so, BUT there's another place for said prospect to be...
EFFORTLESS = Sex:
Now, the UNLUCKY man who opts to be in this place is going to suffer....LOL. severly (now, I'm speaking of times pass, because I'm changing my evil ways, but for the purposes of this post...I'ma go-on and keep da party going) . This dude is strickly ON-CALL...and that's MY CALL...so DON'T CALL ME. You're here for ONE reason ONLY. There's no need for phone-rap and no we don't date. I call- "hey, you...what's happening?" he answers - "hey...what's up with you?" I reply - "you know what's up with me." he says - "hahaha, you a trip...when?" I say - "in 2 hours." he says - " I'll be there" I say - (click...after saying bye). That's how that goes...nothing more nothing less. This person is also subject to being cut off once I'm approached by someone whoes willing to put forth the effort in dating me....see how unlucky this cat is...what a shame.
MAJOR NO-NO:
Please do not try to shift possitions...I don't take kindly to that...especially shifting up from effortless to effort...there's only one way to go...DOWNNNNN! Effortless is that because of the lack of effort...and I don't want to hear, "well, because I'm so busy and I don't want to hold you up...so I'm just tryna get in where I fit in." Oh yeah boo-boo...well you got it, but there's no turning back...so you stuck like chuck in a rut...LOL.
Well that's all folks...just thought I'd share a lil bit more about dating me...I think this will be it until I meet my husband.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Dating Me #3 (Get in where you fit in)
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31 comments:
Goodmorning baby girl. I really enjoyed this post. LOL. You know whats up I like that the only question I have for you is do you respect these guys in the morning.
LOL... LOL... I don't love dem ho's mark...LOL..LOL...LOL. I'M SOOO JUST KIDDING. I no longer have option #2 open, but I still ask because then you don't have to waste your time with fake-dating me.
You do realize that "Chuck" and "rut" don't rhyme, right? Laughing. New dude really got you worked up, huh? So after you deconstructed it for him, did he just stand there catatonic wondering what the hell he'd gotten himself into just by asking, "So, hey, how you doin'?"
I like the Effort one. I cannot relate too much to the Effortless one, LOL. I had a maintenance man once in my early twenties. It was so short, 8 months. Dude did not respect me going to school, I had to study and he was like study at my house. Mind ya all we did was get it on at his place. I told him no I don't need distractions. He got offended, saying he could help. LOL. I was like I need my space. SMH.
If a dude has issues with you being a busy mom or taking care of business, he ain't even worth the sex. LOL.
anon: lol...you know you get on my nerves right...LOL. (I thought about chu with this post) LOL. Nooo, he didn't get me worked up...I'd say he got worked up, because if dating me is going to be too much of a strain then pick opt #2 boo-boo, but guess what...that's a done deal TOO so sorry. hahah.
He's a cool dude, but he ended saying...I don't like this...I want to be more, but you know my schdule and I don't want you getting mad, but I just really want to see you" Well I'm sorry, pookie...the shop is closed and my office hourse are from 9-5 (member that from Five Heartbeats) LOL. You can't have what you want here...I base everything on merit, and my time is earned...UNLESS I decide I want to look at you another way...and that's MY CALL...and ONLY mine.
shai: heck yeah...You've GOT to put forth an effort...I'm NOBODIES settlement, so you need to impress me...or you can keep it moving, because I'ma make it do what it do...LOL either way.
But back in the day (last week) lol, no seriously...if I choose to be bother with a dude in a strickly physical way...I had no problem doing that...I've never looked at it as me giving in to him, or giving him what he wants...I was about what I wanted and on my terms...sometimes it's how you view what you do that makes the difference.
" if I choose to be bother with a dude in a strickly physical way...I had no problem doing that...I've never looked at it as me giving in to him, or giving him what he wants...I was about what I wanted and on my terms..."
mark bey: Is that all you want from us men. Just joking I hope your new play thing and you get along forever.
Hopefully he's the type of guy who will put forth the EFFORT :-)
Who needs an "effortless" dude these days anyway.
lmao@the "nasty attitude"...been there myself...quite a few times actually!
So tell me...what did "dude" say when you gave him the run down?
I feel ya JMW. It is no longer fun when a negro is bugging you for the physical, that was my point. You know I am busy and that is the reason we are strickly physical, don't go crossing line bugging on me when I am taking care of business. LOL.
mark: lol... 'a play thing'...lol. that was the whole point of things...I'm DONE with the play things...i'm GOOD until I'm married...the PA-TAY- IS O-VA...LOL. party over. hahah! So, it's just me happily waiting for my hubby, if and when he comes...til then, I'm GOOD.
ms.b: that's over with him for that very reason...he wanted to fake date...and I don't do that, so we're nothing now.
op.d: girl he said...'can you call me'...LOL. This is the very reason why I lay these things out, look at home much time was saved...I'd have probably gone on a couple dates leading to the doorway of nothingness. Naw, I let them know what they're in for with me...and those that know they can handle it, come with the thunder, but others walk away asking if I'm going to call, or just going about their business and that's cool, but let's not waste each other's time...we could be doing so much more.
shai: YES GIRL... who has time for that nonsense especially if the brother won't do right by you...frig that.
" and when he comes...til then, I'm GOOD. "
mark bey: It will come my friend from philly.
oh surely, but whatever Gods plan for me...I'm satisifed ALREADY. If this is IT, He's already done more then enough. I hope these post don't come off as looking, or longing...these are just things I think are funny, and I'm moved by humor, but anyway God decides to bless me I'll be satisfied (Hez), but I thank you so much mark for your kind words...it's a knew day based on what I've come to learn about myself so nothing's going to be the same.
5 HEARTBEATS.. "WHEN'S MY OFFICE HOURS?!" "9 to 5" I love that!! lmao... I feel u tho.. I have an attitude problem lol and I'm into that so what are ur plans with me... i'm not into having option #2.. yet.. i dont think i'm old enough.. lol
AHHHH... Shai, that's an excellent point. When I did that post about what people have said about me being single, the most profound statement was when the woman said..."God's plan for you might not include a husband." I was devisted at the time, because I'd never thought about that...I always held to the "God will give you the desires of your heart" message and since my heart desired a husband...surely she was a liar, but that was about 10 years ago, I've come to know better. God can change the desire of your heart...WHOA, but how dare He...I WANT A HUSBAND (my use-to thought, but He's causing me to want something else...He wants to be the desire of my heart and I've toyed and played long enough, so whatso ever the Lord has...I'm there taking it.
I'm going to bring it from a different angle. How many of you women start out giving up to Effortless Man and then you want to go up in the scale, because effortless man is a good catch, just possibly misguided. I used to be that dude many many moons ago. But chicks sure were mad as hell when I held to the "no changing positions rule". I lived by the rule - Just because I'm good to you, don't make you good for me.
The game is a mother. So glad, I'm not in it.
sorry I deleted my post because it did not quite capture what I wanted. Opps!
that conversation with the bootay call was way too long. mine went:
him: hello?
me: you, me...thirty minutes.
him: make it ten.
me: cool.
click
keep it short and sweet so there's no energy expended here. lol
mzcoco: LOL... yes...I love that part...Big Red wasn't playen. Opt #2 should never be an opt, but oh well..LOL (again, that was then) LOL.
rich: you know what...I'm also a believer in 'Where there's a will, there's a way' so there should NEVER be a reason to be effortless... even if we go for a walk and sit in the park broke...you've put forth much effort. Yeah...the game shouldn't even be a game...dag.
shai: YEAH...NOW MY LONG SPEECH THAT FOLLOWS LOOKS STUPID...LOL. (but it's cool and thanks for explaining it)
nikki: LOL... YEAH...I LIKE THAT... talk like we on a pay phone that's cutting off in 15 seconds...LOL.
Dating you sounds like dating me lol. Effortless = me losing your number.
Oh how I hate the back and forth: "so where you wanna go?" Ugh, dude come with a plan or don't come at all. Decisiveness is sexy lol.
hey K...lol, YES.. you ain't never lied...Decisiveness IS sexy, ahhh...school is in sesson...lol. thanks for stopping by lady.
ON POINT ON POINT ON POINT!
I wish (and advise) that women were more connected to what they want and are willing to explain it, demand it and accept nothing else. I think it's more important for the woman to be in control (of herself and what she will accept) than the man BECAUSE, the stakes are so high. When the baby shows up, the guys can (and too often do) walk away. Ladies don't have that luxury.
Too often women sacrifice these demands, standards and principles for the sake of having a man. You don't seem to have that problem. I'm glad.
BRAVO BRAVO BRAVO
SEE...NOW THAT' WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT...LOL. I'm GLAD you KNEW where I was coming from with that. AHHHHH (me exhaling) lol thank you shuga for echoing my sentiments and doing it so well.
WOW!! You are clear on what you want aren't you? HAHAHA I'm not mad atcha.
LOL... yeah, lady...I must say...I think I was born this way, but you've GOTTA because people will try to give you what THEY want you to have...darn that...I want what I want, and I ain't asking for much so give it to me.
wow. that's my girl. lol..wow.
dc: lol...you so silly.
I ain't mad atcha!
Of course if we were out on a date and you asked me that, I would have looked at you like you just grew a tumor in that midst of ya forehead and asked you "What possessed you to think I look like a dick-in-a-box?" IF we were on a date mind you! If I was buying you a drink at a bar or something like that, then it is a fair question.
LOL... you are so silly.
Well I asked the question (over the phone) because I had to...dude was pretty much taking things there, so I had to set things straight, and I don't take kindly to flattery-game...I'm real difficult (sometimes) lol. I just love to lay down the law when people to to run that game...it's a real shame.
It can't really have effect, I believe this way.
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