Tuesday, June 26, 2007

A New (Knew) Day

I don't even have a title for this,and I'd actually posted something else for this morning, but as I read a comment left on yesterday's post...I did a lil switch. As many of you may know my oldest son is 15 (six feet and over 200 lbs)...he's going to be a Football player and a Judge...Civil Law, he'll probably have a bunch of Law, and History classes, so say's he.

Over the weekend we attended a workshop about college and college prep; it was CRAZY informative. I really learned a ton about schlorships and funding and alll sorts of info to aid the parents sending their babies off. This is a BIG deal for us as well them. My son doesn't talk much (maybe he's not my son...LOL), and he's a little TOO laid back, so I'm usually FORCING him into things. When we left the workshop we started walking toward the train, but I asked if he'd like to keep walking and just catch the bus; he'd mentioned how beautiful of a day it was like 10 times, so was all for that idea. We ended up walking through this lil park (Love Park - nic)lol (I'm giving my Philly homie a visual). Well this park has a nice fountain, so my boy asked if we could just sit a minute and talk (AMAZED ME).

We started talking about kids and parents and things; he asked, "why do parents force their children to do things they don't want to do?" He asked "Shouldn't it be more important that the child be happy...doing what they want?" "Don't children have rights?" Now, I'm not going to go into my response to all these questions, but I'll say they were answered with love and direction. I asked my son if he thought he was forced into things, and if he felt he had rights...he said, I'm not really talking about me...I'm just asking these questions! JUST ASKING! The whole point of this post is to show what happens when we parents take the time to talk with our children. We were in the warm breeze, with the sun beaming down on us...children were playing and the water of the fountain was flowing, while my son and I talked about life, love, learning, leading, growning and being. So much came out of those moments (over an hour we sat).

We are their guide into the world and up until now (age 15)things have gone at a pretty slow pace, but look out...because the speed is about to increase drasticly and our babies won't be babies anymore...they'll be in the world FORCED again to do things they might not want to do, but they need to know how to BE...how to grow and go. I learned so much about myself as a parent during our little talk...I accepted being a somewhat pushy parent...and a selfish one too (at times)ie. I FORCED them to attend a BBQ with me last weekend just because I wanted them there...and SO WHAT! lol

I was reading my Bible this morning and came across so many passages about children, but I'll only deal in 1 John 2:1 - My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the rigteous. The highlighted portion is the reason WHY we parent...why we FORCE... the unhighlighted portion is HOW we parent with love, leadership, forgiveness and advising...I love my boy(s), and I'm glad to have learned him a little more over this weekend.

21 comments:

princessdominique said...

Exceptional post! I feel like I know you a little better!

Nic said...

ROTF @ (maybe he's not my son...LOL),

Opinionated Diva said...

Excellent post. This is one of those pivotal moments that you HAVE to write down for better remembrance.

Loved reading that you two are already attending the college workshops too! Shoo...let me find out I know a blogger with a son whose a judge!!

Michelle said...

wow...i din know u had a 15 yr old son :) u look so much younger! anyway i probably wont understand what u went thru but i do understand what went thru ur son's head(given we're around the same age).Its a good thing u sat and spoke to him and cleared things that were on his mind...good luck to him with his future! cheers!

dc_speaks said...

excellent post, T. I am experiencing the similar scenarios and my son and I(who's also 15) have been having these conversations. He's now living on a college campus(upward Bound program) for the next 5 weeks and experiencing freedom he has never had. I hope that the deprogramming of coming back home doesn't result in a set back of all the accomplishments we had made thus far this year.

again, excellent post, son!

JustMeWriting said...

princess: WHY THANK YOU MUCH...lol, yeah, I give myself in portions...LOL.

nic: LOL... don't you start me to laughing...you know it's contagious.

op.d: WHERE THE HECK YOU BEEN? (oh working...you lucky)YES, girl it was written in my mind...it was such a large pleasure from a small thing. there's actually more to that day, but I only focused on this part...I'll talk about the other thing tomorrow. lol. Yes he's going to be like Alan Page (see the link on him to the right)

michelle: thank you lady...yes, I know you young people have lots on your mind...well I'm all game for talking about it...so if you ever want to ask a question...PLEASE DO and thanks for the cheers.

dc: YEAH... there are so many things and ways we can help shape our children...and thanks for mentioning the upward bound program...which is a GREAT program...I've actually just created a new page feature of helpful links.

deepnthought said...

thank you for the insight.

I look forward to bonding with my children. (when they come)

Ms. Behaving said...

Love the post!! :-D

It's great that you're able to bond with your son and even better that HE initiated it.

It’s especially critical (in my opinion anyway) that we as parents bond with our children during their teenage years.

LOL @ “ I forced them to attend a BBQ with me last weekend—just because I waned there…and SO WHAT”.

What loving parent wouldn’t have done the same…:-D

The Diva's Thoughts said...

Oh this is the sweetest thing! I love this post.

anonymousnupe said...

So the secret is out.

And is he a cut 200+ lbs., I hope?

Mizrepresent said...

So very nice! I loved this post!

Nic said...

Your sons always sound so lovely and well behaved. I hope when I stop running from the sperm germ, and have children, my kids are as well mannerd and thoughtful. LOVE park!!! I can allllmosssst see that from where I work. I'm glad to know there are some parents out there doing the darn thing.

Keep leading by example sista!

Peace.

Honey-Libra said...

Wonderful post! I pray that I embrace this thinking with my children when I have them...

Ingrid said...

Danggone...You got me tearing up! I can only pray that I get a moment like that with my little girl. Excellent Post!

Sheletha said...

i haven't even met the kid and im diggin him. i remember the first encounter with "the ni99a moment" when you guys were walking down the street...

Miz JJ said...

Those moments are so precious. I like that he wanted to just talk to you about life and stuff. Also, good for parents to know you may wants best for your child, but sometimes you have to let the reigns go a bit.

malieta said...

Very nice post! I really like READING your post! I wish that more people got involved with their children and bonding with them. My oldest son is 30 and we are sooo close. My baby boy is 9yrs. old. The 9yr. old is still in the "why-how come" stage. But that's ok (smile) I'll keep teaching and guiding him. Have a nice day:)

Always wanting to know.... said...

This was an excelent post and with having two teenage sons I can so relate to being that pushy parent.....my sons tell me that I be trippin sometimes and I need to relax and let them be responsible. I had to stop and really look at them and realize what they we saying. Thank you for this one.

Sojourner G said...

Ah yes Shug! Raising them in the teaching and admonition of the Lord. The Daddy of us all deals similarly with us. Raising your son to hear His voice will make him understand better by and by.

JustMeWriting said...

deep: you're welcome shuga-muffin...lol and I'm so sure you'll be GREAT at motherhood.

ms.b: YES... you KNOW having teens is NOT joke...you feel the struggle to keep them, but know you've got to let them go. LOL...girl, he was sooo mad about that, but he sure ate up the food...lol.

diva: THANK YOU LADY... this is what having kids does to me...lol.

nupe: lol...what secret. he's GETTING there...I've got him in training.

miz: thank you much lady...it's all I can do...part of my journey.

nic: awwww...thank you shnuckums...lol. They're all perfect, but I thank God they're not that bad.

honey: I'M SURE YOU WILL... I can see it in your character ALREADY.

ingrid: LOL... girl, I almost teared up just thinking about it, and I know you will...she's young...and that's when we've got to get to them.

sheletha: LOL.. yes, girl and I remember your comment then...THANK you...you all just keep them in prayer...that he grows to be a great man of God...BOTH of them.

miz jj: YES... and that's the HARDEST part...KNOWING you've GOT to let go a bit...SCARY!

malieta: THANK YOU MUCH LADY. Yes...I HOPE we're still close by the time he's 30...what a blessing. LOL...I feel you on the young one, mine is 11 and he's still a mess with all the questions.

a.w.t.k.: YES... but this thing is URGENT to us...we've only got a few years to severly impact them... and we go at it with gusto. I never want them to grow up without having at least ONE good lesson learned. What a struggle, but we'll make it lady.

soj.g: YES...You KNOW that's the ONLY way to go.

jameil1922 said...

that is BEAUTIFUL!! its great that he felt he could just sit and talk to you. fab.