Sunday, August 19, 2007

Question?

My little couple of days off are about over, so I'm winding down now. Anyway, I have a question for you guys.

I've always been a loner-type of person; I'm social, but need quiet 'me' time. I don't have to be completely alone, but the setting needs to be calm. Even if I'm just at home cleaning or doing something productive (to me).

I've had conversations about my need for solitude in regard to personal relationships with loved ones (male or female). Sometimes I'll just get quiet... shutdown within myself when I can't shut down my surroundings. My question is;

Is there a such thing as spending too much time with loved ones?

Married people are together everyday and although there is strong love and like between the two (I HOPE), is there a point when you feel like you need a break from that person and if so...how would you take it?

24 comments:

tjeanise said...

I consider myself to be social to a certain degree, like you I definitely need a break from people to do me. Not everyone in my life can deal with this though. It's just something I have to do for me regardless of how they may feel..

Ticia said...

I am a loner..... I enjoy time with myself...I really do--

However, I do know how to be social and get down with the get down--

But, if you need time to yourself, than that is it....
Its nothing worse than feeling drained or numb after you are with people--

CapCity said...

just came by to say, Hey Sis! I love spending time with me:-). Not sure if I can really answer this one, so I'll "lay in the cut" & see what I can learn from those who are in relationships on this one!

DurtyMo said...

*sigh* I am a BIG TIME loner! I've tried being the social butterfly but it didn't work. People drain me (directly/indirectly). I definitely think people need to take "me" time in a relationship and there are instances where you can spend TOO MUCH time with folk. My LDR works because it gives me adequate space and time just for me so that when Stunna does get here, I'll be ready :-)!

Opinionated Diva said...

I am like you. I need my "me" time too. Some people get lonely when their alone, but not me!

I honestly don't know how people deal with being together ALL the time, but I would think if you're married and you've truly found your soulmate, you either want to be with them all the time OR they know you well enough to know that you're the type of person who needs "me" time (ex. a short getaway, outing with the girls, etc.) to maintain your sanity.

Shai said...

It is so nice to see I am not the only one. JMW, I am the same way.

I cannot answer your question since I have not been in a serious relationship in years. I can say when I was, I liked the closeness and the separateness. I tended to be clingy at times. Now, I think it would be the opposite. I need space. I think being single so long had caused me to like my "Me" time.

GC said...

I am SO not a loner. I NEED to have people around me, the more the merrier as long as they are nice people. Giving that other person their ME time is a skill I am working on. I totally appreciate that other people need it but I just don't get why.

Organized Noise said...

I'm a loner as well, even in relationships. I definitely think that couples see each other too much. Absence makes the heart grow fonder so I do believe that time apart is necessary sometimes.

Sojourner G said...

Shug, I think we ALL need time to ourselves. We need time to think, time to breathe, time to rest, time to recoup and yes, time to be selfish. The real deal is how much and how often? That will vary from person to person, but ultimately will represent the difference between a social butterfly and a loner.

I believe it is possible to achieve this even in a committed relationship. I've known happy couples that even take mini vacations without their S.O. and it's all good. No they're not creepin, they just have grown to a point where they will give each other the room they need to come back refreshed and appreciative of what they have.

This is why the selection of a mate is so important. It's not about being so much a like, or so different or liking the same things or any of that. It's about COMPATIBILITY. Do we compliment each other and can we live with each others pros AND cons happily? That's what's up.

Mega Rich said...

Being married for nearly 12 years and 4 kids at home, I rarely get "me" time other than while I'm at work or if I decide to take a little drive by myself or if I'm in the think tank and then I can still get bombarded on due to cell phones and kids busting through the door. When I do get away, my wife will usually tag along, which isn't really me time, but it's better than dealing with kids. But I'm not that much in need of "me" time as it seems some people are. I think it really depends on what your definition is. Does "me" time mean you want to be by yourself for days on end or just in your own space for a little while. I get the latter all the time, especially when I'm blogging, but rarely do I get a house with no one in it but me.

Young, Horny, and a Teacher said...

if i were married i know i would get sick of seeing my husband everyday. i think it's very important for alone time so you can better appreciate your spouse the next time you see him/her.

The Diva's Thoughts said...

There is ALWAYS a time or two when everyone need a little alone time. When you feel closed in or hassled...you need to be alone for a chance to recharge your batteries so to speak.

KIKI said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
KIKI said...

Like being in a relationship...LOVE having "me time".

In the past when I have been in a relationship, if I needed a break, I would hit the spa (actually I go even when I'm not hooked up). Nothing like a full body message & time in the sauna to relax your mind, unwind & get away from it all.

Mizrepresent said...

Me time is very important in any relationship...and i appreciate it most, when in a relationship...now that i'm not in one...i spend so much time alone, i sometimes long for company...but that's not to say i'm lonely, cuz i can be quite the social butterfly...it's a give and take situation.

malieta said...

Everybody needs "me" time! When I need it, I tell my husband I need sometime for ME! I get my bingo bag, take me a book and get away from the house a few hours. That usually helps.:)

CapCity said...

Sistah JMW - I was inspired by this post & Sistah GC's comment - check my latest when u get a minute:-)

Sheletha said...

ive got waaay too much 'me' time.

Ms. Behaving said...

What's goodie Ms. Lady??
How's the new workplace treating you?? Wait a second...have you started???

Just wanted to swing by and say HI :-)

JustMeWriting said...

HEY GUYS...THANKS FOR ALL THE INPUT. I think I'm too much into having me time...hahaha; which includes being with my sons too (sometimes). My "me" time sometimes includes just the three of us chillen, watching a movie with no phone calls or visits...that's relaxing to me...my favorite "me" time...haha.

Ab said...

I used to be a loner, with a lot of me time...
But now I get mad if i have to spend an hour with my own self... guess i got too bored with myself

Bad Girls Blog said...

You take the breaks in the few times out the day or week you two aren't together. Whether it's you're going to the grocery store or in the other room. That's how we take our breaks from each other.

MzCoko said...

I think "me-time" is very important... and if I don't get it then there is a problem. For example, my ex-roommate and I were together a lot. We studied, partied, shopped, ate, and traveled together.. had the same friends.. We did damn near everything together... If i wasn't with her, I was in class, at work, or busy doing something... and her always being around me when I needed my me-time drove me nuts... and thats why she's my ex-roommate.. she didn't feel the same way as me but... we're still friends and are around each other a lot

For me-time I shop, read, or just chill and do simple stuff like stare into space.

MysTery said...

Yes! There is a such a thing as spending too much time with others(loved ones)!
I would go to the park, take a walk or read a book. Something like that. Go to the movies or something. Something that I like to do that is relaxing.

By the way...Love the notebook layout!!

Be blessed.