Sunday, November 4, 2007


Well now, WHAT – Life, Love and the Pursuit of happiness!
Have you ever been in a place where you didn’t know if you were coming or going…couldn’t say how you got there, or if you even wanted to leave? Well, I like to call that place Something’s Gotta Give…where your hope just seems to be for SOMETHING, ANYTHING and EVERYTHING!

Ahhh, the place of many mistakes…many wrong turns…too many “Oops!” I’ve come a long way, but seem further behind then where I started…how’s that even possible (don’t answer that). This is the place where I tell my story; a funny, frightening tale of sorts; a story suitable for Grims Fairytales - FAIRYTALES – where I’ve made my heaven. I was always a dreamer, which is why I liked long walks alone…alone is where I dream up dreams and things. These are the insides of my mind…thinking and wondering about whatever until reality screams at me…blows its minty breath in my face and causes me to focus on my sons, my home, my job, my career, my bills…my LIFE!

I’m sure you’re asking “where’s she going with this?”…I DON’T KNOW, but SOMETHING’S GOTTA GIVE!

I should laugh, but I won’t…but what’s up with four letter words beginning in “L” (scary). I’m usually immune to this…well probably since I’ve been in love with the same two men for like 10 years…now I can laugh…ha-ha! Yeah, I know that’s crazy and my mind goes back back and forth and forth…neither may be right, or one more than the other, but that’s what I’ve known of love (for a man), aside for the love I have for Idris Alba  Fortunately for me, this really isn’t an area I stress over…aside from wanting to go on the occasional date, but other then that, I’m pretty cool, or has the immunity effected me so that I CAN’T change directions; I can’t move my feet from it’s cool place. Have I, Will I let the newness of love pass me by because I’m stuck so deep in the past? I’ll just have to wait UNTIL!

Well, I’ve already said you’ve got to live your life like it’s golden…it’s going to be what we make it, so I’ve made myself content as I wait to go further. What would make me happy RIGHT NOW is career related. No, I don’t like this job, but it’s a stepping stone…not really stepping into what I REALLY want to do, but you can never have too many connections.
What do you REALLY want to do?
Believe it or not…I just kinda figured this out…I’d like to be a Youth Program Director…I’d like to create programs designed for the growth of our children…that’s all and I’d be happy UNTIL!

Man, it feels real good to uncloud your allows for better focus. This is art…the art of expression…the ability to convey one’s thoughts, even if nobody else understands it.

To make better sense of this; what thing/area seems to have you stuck in a hazy daze of perplexity? What something has got to give for you?


Mizrepresent said...
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Mizrepresent said...

Wow, don't we all feel this way a time or two and introspect is good. It allows us to clear the path, discard whats no longer needed and to project our goals, as you have here. The one thing i know is hazy with me is relationships, dating, getting back in the game,taking the game serious, and such...i say it's something i want, but when presented with the opportunities, i shy away...something i've got to work on for sure. Glad to have you back sis!

DurtyMo said...

Clarity, my friend, is definitely something that I pray for day in and day out. My something that's gotta give is my long distance relationship. We are both ready to move forward with out lives together but the logistics are getting in the way. And when I think about how profound GOD is, I know that this is just a minor setback in what I know will be a long fulfilled life with my #1. *sigh* I just gotta hold on..

Ticia said...

Wow....I feel ya...

I wrote about what my something is on my blog..
I need some major advice....

I miss ya girly :)

Ticia said...
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Shai said...

I feel ya Knewday. I am with Miz, the relationship thing I am ambivalent about all of it. LOL. I want to date, yet don't feel like dealing with the duds. I want to go out yet I tend to hibernate and be to myself.

It all changing very slowly, I have moved on in some important areas, now I feel like I am at a road with no signs ahead as to where I am going.

JustMeWriting said...

WOW you guys...I'm never surprised yet always amazed at the truthful expression you guys alwasy give... THANK YOU.

The relationship stuff is CRAZY and it always seems to be the "something" that's got to give with the ladies. Of course, I don't know what the solution is.

Shai: I've felt like you with the whole being on a road with no signs...that's a terrible place to be.

Miz: I'M WITH YOU TOO... getting BACK in the game, or deciding if you even WANT to get back in the game.

Ticia: What's happening lady...I'll be over there to see what's going on with know I'm FULL of advise...HAHAHA!

Mo: GIRL, if you guys have hung in there this long...I'm sure you can make it...God will bring you through...and make the days fly by.

Shai said...

Knewday, it is good and bad cause what I just left was ugly. I am excited and scared about this new stretch of road coming up. I actually want to be in love again and that is a very big step for me. Whew!

Opinionated Diva said...

There's one major thing that stands out in my mind as far as your question...but honestly it's not anything significant really. I feel like I complain and sometimes even whine (gasp!) about things that are so little compared to other people's problems. I am fortunate in a LOT of ways.

It's glad to see you posting girl.

You have been missed!

Anonymous said...

I complain all the time...i often think that if I wasn't complaining that I wouldn't talk at all!! my something that's got to give is every single thing you said in your post!! It's amazing to find people going through the same things you're going through. I have a hard time figuring out if things are the way they are because it's just meant to be, or if I have just made a series of bad decisions? It's really hard to judge. The main thing that's getting me through it is knowing that I am blessed and it could be much worse, and that this is just the way life is. It's a constant learning process. I guess that's part of the fun of it! Blogging has helped me alot too. It's very therapeutic. Love the blog!!

JustMeWriting said...

Shai: GIRL.. I so feel you forreal, but we've made it through these things before so we'll be good...come what may.

Op.D: HEY LADY... thank you girl... you know I missed you as well. haha...on the complaining, because I've been doing a lot of that lately...and it's been making me feel like a big cry-baby, so I've got to stop.

C.Q: (nice name) thanks for coming by...YES, isn't it wonderful to know you're not alone in what you're going through...and HECK YEAH on the blogging...I haven't had time to really do much lately, but it's my refuge. FUNNY, I wrote a little something pondering that very question of things being this way because of mistakes along the way...or just because. (maybe I'll share it next). Thanks for the visit...please do come again

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