Monday, March 19, 2007

Mind Over Matter's of the Heart!!!

There seems to be a great divide amongst men and women as it pertains to love, marriage and the lines in between. Men seem to be skewed toward the confines of their mind...while women take things more to heart.

MEN:
I've encountered numerous men who've gotten married to a woman they may have loved, without being truely IN LOVE with. Some saying, "we've got a child together so I want to make things work." OR they're saying, "She's a good woman...she takes care of home and I don't have to worry about her running the streets." OR they're saying, "She loves me...she really wants to marry me so why not."

WOMEN:
On the other hand most women will turn away from a 'good man' because..."I'm just not feeling him" AND "I can't marry a man I'm not in love with." They may either spend long periods of time alone until Mr. Right peeks around the corner, or they'll be with and marry Mr. TOTALLY WRONGGGGGG, but because..."I LOVE HIM SO MUCH"

Of course there are exceptions in both sexes and we should all do what's right for us, but what happens when you've made that decision based on your Mind and now your Heart starts thinking for its self? How do you control that? Can you control it...and should you? Maybe there was someone holding that heart, but someone else controling that mind...who's going to win.
Kinda like the whole 'brain dead vs. actual physical (spiritual) death" is it possible to overthink love?

8 comments:

hamil10 said...

I definitely believe its possible to overthink "love." I believe its also possible to not recognize it when it comes because many of us confuse it with a "feeling" and when that "fuzzy feeling" is gone, they believe love is gone. Love is a VERB. it's an action word.
Love is... a bunch of intangibles that can be only observed and accepted. Do I feel excitement when my husband comes in the room and unexpectedly lays a big kiss on me... YES!, however, if it's too soon after an argument, I "feel" completely opposite. does that mean I'm not "in love" (whatever that means) no! and I would be foolish to minimize the level and amount of commitment and care shown by both of us all these years based on feeling a week or two of "non-mushy feelings". not that these years have been perfect. we've been in and out, but all of our good days out weigh the bad days. i know that i almost lost my marriage behind trying to "feel in love" and what I've learned is... it's more than a feeling.

dc_speaks said...

what a wonderful post topic..I agree with hamil10...it is possible to overthink love. I will come back and add to this comment at a later time! I need to put more thought into it

JustMeWriting said...

YES.. I totally agree. One of my favorite movie lines: "everybody's always talking bout falling in love...falling in love ain't S#@*...somedoby talk to me about how to stay there." (Love Jones)

Love is a perpetual work in progress...you can never complete it nor master it. It requires constant attention and care it's fragile even at its height of strenght.

But it being the basis of your relationship is the most important. But what about when it's not the basis; being the case for those men I spoke of...those who rationalized their marriage.

thanks keet(I love when you comment)

Shai said...

I like Hamil10's post too.

palebleu said...

I wrote a long response yesterday, and then I didn't publish correctly! Sometimes I think the world's trying to teach me to get to the point! Haha...
So basically my thoughts were...
I am the queen of over-thinking. But when I'm with someone I feel truly compatible with, they help me to get over that. They help me to be more natural and express what's on my mind so it doesn't stay there!; repeating over and over again. Maybe when we're in the best relationships, we don't have to overthink them, because we're too busy experiencing them, enjoying them, feeling satisfied by them...


(?)

JustMeWriting said...

YES... that's what i'm talking about...that purity. It's a natural...not perfect but perfect. You don't have to process it to much....it kinda processes it's self.

THANK YOU palebleu
oh...I'd have LOVED to read a 'long letter' from you... LOL.

Lindsey said...

So very true!! Have you read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. I reccomend it!!

JustMeWriting said...

LOL.. No, I've never read it..but I KNOW it's true... JUST LOOK AT THEM... LOL. JUST KIDDING GUYS...I LOVE YOU....LOL.