Wednesday, April 25, 2007

The Great Gray Hope!

I was browsing blogs yesterday and came across Black Womanist's post on interracial dating (Part 2-Unchartered Territory). Here the author provided great insight into the world of RACE-MIXING, equipted with a list/link to photo's of famous interracial couples (please check her page). Anyway, all that reading prompted me to post the following question for us to answer/me first...LOL.

1)How do you feel about interracial dating? I personally LOVE MY BLACK MEN too much to even think about anything else, and I'd say I'm on the very-strong against it side.

2)Why do you think most Black Men opt to date White women? I think it's a 'forbidden-fruit' desire to have that which has been deemed 'off-limits' for so many years... and thereby making them the 'ultimate catch'.

3)Why do you think most Black Men opt to date ANY Non-Black race of woman? I think they view them as 'easier' to deal with. I've heard Black men consider Black women to be; overly aggressive, under acheiving, selfish, money-grubbing, lazy, unattentive and unsupportive of their Black Men.

4)Why do you think most Black Woman opt to date other races of men? I think most Black women open themselves up to interracial dating, because they've grown tired of the bad experiences envolving Black men...they want 'better'...they feel to many of the sterotypes hold true and their woe's have gotten the better of them.

5)What impact does society play on the decision to MIX? I remember growing up watching MTV and all the 'cool' prodominately white shows and feeling like... "DAMN WHITE IS ALRIGHT" and I sure would like to be apart of that world....OOOOHHHHH WEEEEE!!! In the words of Uncle Ruckus (no relation-BOONDOCKS) I just loved looking at all the pretty "vanilla faces" 'Good Times', was too much reality tv for me...NO THANK YOU COLOREDS...I'm moving on to BRIGHTER and BETTER things. (basicly, I wished I was white). The picture always painted by society was White=Good and Black=Bad, so as close as you can get yourself to the White line is the safest place for any dark-complected person to be; in a nut shell...society JACKS STUFF UP.

6)What do you see being the biggest issue with interracial dating? a)I think the possible inferiority complex that can develop within our Black counterparts/oppisite sex. b)The dismantling of the Black family structure. c) The inevitable impediment of trying to relate to each others culture.

7)Are you or should you be considered racist if you don't go for mixing? I'd say no, Nationlist thrive on the Pride of their own...'I LOVE ME SOME US', and there's nothing wrong with that as long as you don't condem, judge and hate others for being on the other side of the line.

8)Do you have a different reaction to Black Woman with White Men vs. Black Men with White Woman? HECK YEAH I DO... I know, just another of my era's in thinking (maybe). I dated a guy who said he 'preferred' dating white women (see question #2). After I revived myself from my faint, was then told (I'm an exception OF COURSE) but I was so hurt to hear a Black Man say he PREFERS another race...dag, dude wasn't even really leaving things to chance...this was what he sought after. I told of the faithfulness of most Black Women to Black Men, and he said..."that's because most up-standing, professional, intelligent White Men don't really prefer to date a Black Woman'...basically, 'I/We don't really want you and neither do they'. So when I see Black Woman with White Men (serious/married) it's kinda like 'NOW!' We're a prize even to them.

9)Under what circumstances would you date outside of your race? I'd do it only if the guy was Black...(lol, sorry)

I'm sure this post might not sit well with some people, but please don't think me terrible; some of the closest friends are white ( I just love black men. I encourage people to go for what they know and find love where they can, but just as one might think you shouldn't limit yourself to one race, I think you shouldn't hold the wrongs of some to be the end all of that race.


KIKI said... I go (taking deep breath)...

On one point I'm with ya 100% justme...I LOOOVES MY BLACK MEN! Just love em, love em, love em! Now with that being said I also believe you love who you love, you're attracted to the person who posses the qualites your looking for, regardless of color

Why do some prefer one race over another? Heres what I think...(and some may not like it) Black men prefer white women over black women because they know a black woman is going to hold them accountable for their actions & take some responsibility...a white woman, for a host of reasons I'm not going to get into right now, doesn't.

Black women start to gravitate toward white men rather than black men when they get tired of putting up with the constant lies & deciept they have to deal with when involved with a black man...(yeah yeah I know white men lie & cheat too!)But that's why I've seen many a sistah cross over...she got fed up!

Little history lesson...first known sign of man on earth was found in africa...thus as it stands right now everyone who walks the earth is the descendant of a black man or maybe if we start to comingle the races eventually we'll end up right back where we started...there'd be no black, no white...we'd all be people of color...judged only for who we are on the inside

Nic said...

ROTF Dying at the uncle Ruckus quote. I didn't even finish reading the rest yet, lol. Give me a minute to get myself together.

JustMeWriting said...

Kiki: I know I don't mean any harm I totally agree with you; I'd say my REAL anger is at people who chose to go another way because they think that's/their BETTER! That really saddens me...the same way I feel about people bitting the hand that's feed them, or people turning their backs on those who've always been there for them. I guess it comes down to loyality to me...NO, not that you SHOULD be loyal to your race by ONLY seeking happyness amongst them, but don't go bashing them...don't go turning your nose up at your own...we get enought of that from others. Anyway, thanks for the support girl...I kinda wondered what feedback I'd get on this, so I'm glad you've agreed with some of my points.


Anonymous said...

Some people may do it out of self esteem issues. I know someone who married outstide there race just so they can have fair skin children with "good hair" they all a bunch of nappy headed bastards to me though...LOL! But the mother has issues with her ownself.

JustMeWriting said...

WOW anon: 'nappy-headed-bastards'...(is that you Imus)

Yeah, I agree with that being an issue...if that was her reason, but you can't talk about the kids like thanks for the comment.

Zabeth said...

First off, thank you for plugging my blog :-)


"..."that's because most up-standing, professional, intelligent White Men don't really prefer to date a Black Woman'...basically, 'I/We don't really want you and neither do they'. So when I see Black Woman with White Men (serious/married) it's kinda like 'NOW!' We're a prize even to them."

Is just flat out untrue! BW, have always been a prize. It's unfortunate that we allow our men to degrade us and make us believe that we aren't.

I believe the statement above is something BM feel the need to say in order to continue to demean BW and justify their own out-dating preferences. Don't believe it sistahs! Remember it was professional, affluent, well educated WM in America who had the power to even have a black mistress during Slavery and in the subsequent segregated South (THIS OFCOURSE IS IN NO WAY MEANT TO MAKE LIGHT OR TRIVIALIZE THE HORROR THAT WAS SLAVERY).

Please check out my blog:

Z- Black Womanist

Nic said...

Hey, I'm back!
I had to stop laughing at the memory of Uncle Ruckus singing "Don't Trust them New N****s' Over There" before I could write. Anyway, I grew up in a black neighbor hood, but went to predominately white schools, and when I say predominately white, I mean there was 1 African American male in my graduating class, about 6 girls. Between that and the fact that I grew up watching “Saved by The Bell” it’s no surprise that I’m cool with interracial dating. I’ve dated outside of my race before (I’m African American, they were Puerto Rican). I’m not against it, but I don’t know if I would do it again. There were some cultural differences that were too complex to work through. Anyway, I’d have to agree that there’s nothing better than a Good Black Man. But...where are they? Unfortunately there seems to be a shortage of the good ones where I'm at. I feel like a lot of the Black men (who are my age) don't know how to act. I don’t know where to place the blame. On smutty rap videos, older men who didn’t stick around to help raise their sons, or maybe their just getting spoiled off these fast ass no-self-respect having little tricks runnin' around. I don’t know. But the majority seems to be saturated with this "BabyBoy" mentality. You know the type; can’t hold a job, 10 kids & 10 different babies mommas', content to live in their mothers’ house for all eternity... When I try to give them a chance they always blow it. They expect me to spoil/baby them in everyway, while they live off of me! I just can’t tolerate it at this point in my life, so I just don’t date at all. Maybe, one day, when I’m a little more established, I’ll be able to surround myself with a different/better breed of brotha’(I know their out there somewhere). Until then...I don’t luv them “ho’s”! lol!


JustMeWriting said...

You're very welcome Z and I SURELY know that statement was untrue...we most certainly are PRIZES... phenominal one's at that. Sadly, there are some BM who've trid to devalue the BW by telling her she's not good enough (in ANY case) but we've got to know the truth within ourselves. Thanks for stopping by Z and thanks for the inspiration.

JustMeWriting said...

nic: YOU'RE KILLEN ME... stop it with Uncle Rucuks (I'll be watching it when I get On a more serious note, girl I feel your pain...I too have shed a many mental-tear for my foolish brothers, but for me the bottem line, is your bottom line; "I know their out there somewhere" and I HOLD to that belief...I know it's hard, but I REFUSE to belive we've maxed out of good Black Men...seriously...BROTHERS PLEASEEEEEE STOP SCARING US AWAY!

Also, I also CHARGE all my sistahs who are mothers of YBM (young black men) to STOP promoting the WRONG behaviors and START teaching them to be the Kings God destined them to be.

thank you for your comment and for cracking me up... lol.

dc_speaks said...




JustMeWriting said...

YEAH... YOU'D BETTA SAY THAT... LOL. (I dare a Black Man to come here saying otherwise) lol.

thanks dude.

Shai said...

I LOVE me some black men. I am starting to wonder if I should cross the color line. SMH. I am torn because the brothas are falling short. Yeah, some brothas cross the line because they cannot handle dealing with us.

I am starting to wonder why so many of us black women are so loyal to a race of men who may not be as loyal to us.

JustMeWriting said...

That's a good question Shai: I know my loyalty is due to my love for being black. I know what they CAN be... kinda like how God looks beyond our faults and is able to love us...and see us for who we can be. But I know it's hard...

CortneyGee said...

I liked the post.. if I had a choice I prefer sistahs but I do like exotics ... not shame to say I've tasted the joys of knowing women fom other cultural backgrounds... but if there is one thing that will make you stay within your own is that ;look sisters give you when you are out with a woman that isn;t black ooh wee .... it;'s like yhou slapped your mamma and tghey witnessed it ..
never think of it as race mixing .. we are all the human race ..right?
Cortney is currently seeing a chocolate woman SMILE!!!!

JustMeWriting said...

LOL... GOOD FOR YOU CORT... LOL. the darker the berry... lol. See, you can ALWAYS come back home...

Dawnya said...

I love my black me. They are wonderful, sexy beings. However, my husband is a white man. We have been married 5 years and together for 7 years. I did not go out looking to meet, fall in love with, or marry outside of my race. It just happened. And when it first happened, I asked God where did he get his sense of humor from, because this was not funny to me.

I personally don't feel there are any underlying issues required for interracial relationships. I just believe in love.

JustMeWriting said...

WOW dawnya, thanks for sharing that...that's so funny because when people ask me what would happen if I feel in love with a white man...I thought the same thing..."God wouldn't do that to me...because He knows how I feel about that"... lol, but something to think about. I have a question (I hope you come back to answer) How did it happen? I know with me feeling the way I do...I don't think I'm open to how did it happen for you? thanks for sharing.

Anonymous said...

I just found your blog. I agree with you 100%. I am white and male. I am tired of all the race-mixing going on in this country. And the babies that come from these unions. It's awful! Black men should date only black women and white men should date only white women. I am tired of white women going out with black men. And I am against white men going out with black women. We should all stick to our own kind. We are on the same page. Thank you for this. It's good to know that there are black people out there who know right from wrong. You are not alone. It's good people like you who help good white people like me in our fight to stop these things from happening. Thanks again. Keep up the great work.

-A Friend

JustMeWriting said...

thanks friend (lol) um!

wynsters the tigress said...

to anonymous: you're kidding, right?