Monday, May 7, 2007

Fear!?!?!

Man, how can a four letter word be so scary...it's ALMOST as horrific as Love, but that's another story (just kidding...I love love)

Anyway, I've been afraid of one thing or another all my life and sorrowfully, there's no pill to take for it (darnit, where was the rise in greed associated with medical advancement when I needed it...again, we'll talk about that later). Now, just to bring you up to speed a bit, here are 5 things I've been and maybe still am afraid of:

1.) Death (what will people do without me)
2.) Failure (...then what)
3.) Trying ( see above, I'd rather dream it then fail at achieving it)
4.) Not being accepted because of Me (..."if they see, will they leave...or will they stay anyway")
5.) Feeling Helpless (I'm a control freak...it's my safe haven)

Now you know my dirty little secrets most have been overcome (so I think), but there's still a great deal of fear within me. Oh this thing...this four letter word that has the power to control so much of so many. Oh this thing that has stagnated my growth and diminished the worth within myself...it's limited my expectations and challenged my very being; It stops me before I can even start. When I think about what I want to be....what I want to do, fear laughs at me.

I get this disrupted feeling in my stomache....I get gitterry and my speech becomes jumbled...I even get the chills, now this brings about a feeling of HELPLESSNESS...OHHH... and boy do I hate that, so that thing that I orginally feared has brought on GREATER FEARS... what the heck am I supposed to do now, being scared to death of everything... (oh crap, don't say the "D" word) The birth of my sense of humor came out of my fears (good thing, because I can sure crack a good joke).

In all seriousness, this thing has got to stop, because I've got soooooo much work to do; within my community, my Black Race, and my own personal existence...I can not be moved!!!

I ran through my Bible last night...and did something I've not done in too long; I asked God to lead my hands...guide my fingers and this is the passage I was guided to:

And David said to his son Solomon, "Be strong and of good courage, and do it;" (1 Chronicles 28:20).

I wasn't TOO surprised, since God has never failed me yet...He's taken me places when I called Him to; it's only when I go on my own that I end up lost someplace, but those last two words resonated in my mind all night...'do it' (and I thought Nike made that up). Do WHAT wasn't the question, but just the fact...'do it' whatever it may be...whatever causes fear to laugh. So, with that...here is ONE thing I'm going to do without fear: Throw myself into the fight for a better Black (all things true and good within the Black Race)...our lives depend on it. I want to fight like my ancestors fought with pride...I want to take back our children and their mothers and fathers...the streets have owned them too long, and we need to have a family reunion in the worst way, but I will not fear the enemy (whatever their face)...I will be strong and of good courage and "JUST DO IT"

We've got a lot of work to do, my enlightened brothers and sisters and we shall not fear that the earth be removed, but we shall be strong and of GOOD courage and do it. GOOD courage is enough...because seemingly courage alone isn't going to get us up that mountain...we've got to have GOOD courage!

I'm not going to pose a post question....feel free to comment as you will, but if you care to, please share something you plan to free yourself from the fear of.

18 comments:

Shai said...

Wow! Talk about things ironically happening. I am working on my fear of driving. I am terrified of getting in an accident. Last week was the most I drove in a long time. It felt good and awkward. I used to have nightmares about losing control of a car. SMH.

Joyce Meyer said, "Do it scared." Someone else said, "Fake it til you make it." The through part is hard. It breaks down the bad and builds up the good. It is hard at times and will be worth it in the end.

JustMeWriting said...

I know that right shai: sometimes it takes all you have just to make it through, so we think it's better to stay our place, but that's always been a good and effective trick of the enemy...so I'm glad you're overcoming that and girl you're not the only one, because I don't know how to drive either...lol, but I'll have to work on that later.

Shai said...

I have had lessons, got my license. Shoot, I had my first lessons at 17. I never drove consistently until I was older. SMH. I hate making mistakes and with driving you have to practice til you get it right. I can be too hard on myself at times.

Good luck with your challenges.

mark said...

"...I want to take back our children and their mothers and fathers...the streets have owned them too long, and we need to have a family reunion in the worst way,"

mark bey: This is someting I am obsessed with. You are a terrific human bieng JMW please keep your positive attitude.

dc_speaks said...

what a beautiful and open post topic, T. I am very thankful that you are a part of my routine conversations and blog stops. The internet does find a way to develop individuals into realtionships that seem to sprout and strengthen to great heights.

I won't have a fear of losing you should something happen, but I will certainly cherish the fond conversations, Im's and emails and hold those dear to my heart.

Peace be with you , homegirl.

We are Down!

JustMeWriting said...

YOU GUYS BETTA STOP...I ALMOST GOT MISTY..., but I'm fighting it.
Mark: YOU STARTED THE MIST...LOL. THANK YOU, the kindest words I've ever heard from such a stranger...but then again, how strange can we be with such like minds.

DC: You tried to put that cap on it...LOL. You KNOW I've got to maintain my strong black woman image...there shall be no mist here...hahahah. kidding...Queens can cry too...lol.

THANK YOU GUYS! MUCH LOVE.

Sheri said...

Such the rebel...I LOVES IT!!!! You never fail to make me hype and leave me encouraged...I am soo, so proud of you.

JustMeWriting said...

IS THAT MY SUNSHINE...LOL....IT IS. thank you precious lamb-chop...you KNOW, I'm just tryna be like the big girls.

CapCity said...

Thanks to my iconoclastic Daddy, I am fierce about facing my fears. I've watched it paralyze too many of my people. I would've been right there w/ Sistah Tubman, packing heat and demanding,"Is u wit me o' u gonna take your story to glory right here?"
I was afraid of rodents & my Dad and I went to a pet store to have one of the 'experts' help us get over that squeamishness about handling rodents. I don't like them - but, i'm no longer afraid of them. Whenever I sense a fear, I pull out my journal and LOOK it IN the FACE! Some fears are healthy deterents...such as: fear of being in burning buildings will get U OUT of there! LOL!
A great book to check out is Susan Jeffers' Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway! Click on her name to check out her website.

Great post!

dc_speaks said...

thanks for the tip cap.

anytime, T. You know how we do.

Mizrepresent said...

Justme...fear traps us...but facing it, free's us. Wonderful post lady! I face the fear of new relationships...the fear of success...the fear of my children's safety...the fear of death...but sometimes i embrace it, only, and if...i've accomplished all that i was meant to do. Sometimes i fear that people don't get me, and are confused about my geniune need to please...but i can't worry about that anymore...i am me...except me, as i am.

BigRAY_3183 said...

There is nothing to fear but fear itself, fears make us stronger if we face them and conquer them. Looking at your five biggest fears I relate to quite afew of them especially the one of being a control freak, I feel that if I let go and let people live that I will be stepped all over.

Nice Piece!

SLUMP FACADE said...

...thank you for hitting my blog, feel free to continue visiting. Concerning your post, sounds like you may be headed toward being a minister. How do you feel about female pastors?

Sugar said...

Very thought-provoking. I'm dealing with a bit of...I don't even know what to call it, but it's just come over me in this latest job that I'm working. I'm not too up for getting into the dirty details, but you touched on a lot of the things that bother me from time to time.

And, you're right, you have to just take the bull by the horns and trust that God will lead you the right way. "You can make your plans as big as you want if you include God in them."

mark said...

Hello knew day I have just written a post entitled single mothers village initiative. http://progressatallcost.blogspot.com/2007/05/single-mothers-village-intiative.html It is about a job training program for single mothers

JustMeWriting said...

Cap: WOW...what a Father he was to you...that's wonderful; Oh the things we can be with the proper rearing, but I don't know bout touching no rodents...I can't STAND them and thanks also for the info.

DC: (smile)

Miz: YES INDEED GIRL! We're the only ones who can unlock that trap door. Those are some fears to overcome and I'm glad you're doing that...God's speed.

bigray: YES...LOL, That's one of the one's I'm STILL getting over...I can say I've gotten MUCH better too.

slump facade: WHOA! um, well I've not thought about that. I KNOW God has some things for me to do and I'd probably say I've been a female minister most of my days, but never thought of taking or making things official. Thanks for the thought...I'll heavy up on that later, because I do have some thoughts about Preachers, Preaching, The Church, and Being Ordained.

Sugar: Girl...being at a new job seems to bring out SOOOOO many fears, I KNOW...I've felt as if I've suffered here long enough. It can be draining, but just stay prayed up...get those meditation verses out and put that inspirational music on and get yourself through the day.

Mark: WOW...Mark, you must have been in my head this morning lol...because I was going to go there today, so thanks dude for the work, I'll be checking that out today.

THANK YOU ALL FOR THE GREAT COMMENTARY.

Sugar said...

You know what I've been doing? I've been reading a chapter or two of Psalms or Proverbs every morning before I walk out the door and it is amazing the difference that has made in the past month or so!

JustMeWriting said...

WHAT GIRL...I KNOW THAT'S RIGHT...He's our daily bread. Girl, I'm about to roll back over into the New Testament...I can talk ALLLL day about the Goodness of the Lord...He's our shelter from harm. He's cleanses the filth from our lives, filth we've become content to wallow in, oh but God...opens our eyes that we might see the truth He has in store for us...

Now look what chu did Sugar...you don't got me started...LOL. (THANK YOU)