Friday, June 1, 2007


I think this post is a good follow-up to yesterday's Dating Me...since it lays out a 12-step program to rid yourself of option #2 (the booty call). Now, this was prompted by a conversation with a friend in which I hoped outloud for at least 12 steps to ridding yourself (myself...whatever) of goes:

1) Admit you have a problem - if you consider it a problem you want to rid yourself of

2) Talk about it - tell people want your up to, knowing might help them help you.

3) Get rid of all the booty-call #'s (did that)

4) Birds of a feather flock together, so you might need to get with some new b's (birds

5) Be carful what you're taking in- Porn, suggestive readings, tv and even music could be a problem.

6) Dress the part (ladies), there's no sense in temptime men by showing them what they can't have.

7) Spiritual Cleasing - The Bible is the ONLY thing I know that will save your mind and keep you focused. Meditate on Philippians 4:8 and STAY PRAYED UP. Tell the Lord what you want to do...our minds are bodies are far to frail to accomplish this alone...Call Him into this situation and He'll never fail.

8) Stay busy...endulge in all your favorite things (NO MASTURBATING EITHER...SO NASTY); we all know what bordom will do...and idle hands do the devils works.

9) Cut out any substance abuse...don't really need to elaborate on that one.

10) Stop flirting so much, yeah, I know it's hard, but it can lead to other things, so watch your words.

11) Date sensibly, this is probably the biggest and easiest mistake to make. I know you don't want to confine yourself into the drab existence of social isolation, but do what you're going to do REALISTICLY, if you didn't enjoy sex you wouldn't have to go through all these don't put yourself in ANY situation that will test your will to its limits. Date and go home...none of that sitting in the house stuff.


I'm sure MOST of you guys will have laughed histerically at this, but I wasn't meant as a seriously (stop laughing...LOL) GET TO WORK.

p.s. this really isn't a debatable issue it's something I'M working on and decided to share with whosoever will.


Anonymous said...

Big support from me Sis! Celibacy is not at the top of most guy's list, but from the spiritual aspect, it should be. For that, we would need our own 12 step program. Much of it would overlap with what you've written.

Peace and encouragement on your journey. I'll be praying with you.

Opinionated Diva said...

Celibacy is one thing...but no masturbation either??? Not that I do...tee he...but I'm sayin!

Talk about being drastic!

JustMeWriting said...

soj.g: YES spiritually we've got to do it (unless we're married) because we really block our blessing...dissention within the body and spirit keep you from so much of God's blessings.

op.d: LOL...GIRL, GIRL, GIRL...HECK YEAH...none of that either...because look what you've got to put yourself through to even work up to it...LOL. and I don't know from personal experience either (excuse me God for that lie)...LOL.. (stop laughing) lol

deepnthought said...

I have been celibate now, for a minute. Some say its a long time. but I don't think so. It is just a matter of deciding to dedicate your self to it.

anonymousnupe said...

But the lil ponis are so adorable, the way they come up to you and nuzzle you, begging you for a little corn, gazing up at you with those big brown sorrowful eyes. Ain't you never been to The Land of Little Horses?! What possible harm can a little ponis every now and then do?! Come on, JMW, loosen up!

Ms. Behaving said...

Those are some great points. I'll be referring a couple of people to come and check this one out ( I know a couple of sistas, who know a couple of sistas who could benefit from your advice on this)...LOL

Have a good weekend!!!

JustMeWriting said...

deep: hey lady...missed you, yeah I know oh too well...I decided to cut those behaviors some years ago, because I couldn't be on both sides of the fence, but I fell off the wagon, but I'm getting back on.

anonup: lol...that was funny, you're a mess...I was LOOSE already...LOL.


I disagree with each of these with the exception of one, no offense. The entire premise of the BOOTY CALL is its based on previously having sex. In addition, it is usually connected to a person with whom you have feelings or are in the process of catching. Who has sex just for the sake of sex? I'd have to care for a woman to continually have sex with her.

Wanting to have sex isn't a problem, its human nature. Spiritual cleasing is a good suggestion, however, is watching your girl masterbate a problematic? Flirting is perfect because it has no intention, its just wasted talk.

Good effort, I loved reading it!!!

JustMeWriting said...

LOL... no taken dear, that's why it takes 'different strokes' to rule the've got a LOT of people who are FINE with having sex JUST for their OWN pleasure, thus the creation of the booty call...if it's with someone you care's not really a booty call, well to me.

Wanting to have sex isn't a problem for someone who doesn't view it as a problem...that's why I said 'whosoever will'. I believe we (believers) can't serve two masters so a decision has to be made.

KIKI said...

WOW! Just...ok...hears how I see it...

Let me start off by saying that I love, love, love sex (did I mention that I love sex? LOL)but for me, there has to be feelings involved. I can't just get off on a good screw (usually LOL)which is why I go thru my celebasy spells; booty calls just aint where it's at. I need to feel "loved" (for lack of a better word) in order to get my juices flowing. I have used all of these steps...and YES...they do work!

So do yo thang, Just...stay strong

Good Post lady!

dc_speaks said...

thanks for sharing. as always, your posts get the brain to pumpin and the mind expanding.

I shall practice wedding that I dont have to worry about gettin my swerve on. LOL!!


The OE said...

Affairs begin not with the first act but with the first thought. Our thoughts become actions. What we feed our minds becomes our thoughts. Reading comments from a bunch of clowns on the internet is feeding the mind garbage. People aren't really looking for just sex anyway, they're looking for intimacy but settle for something else; even if they don't realize it. These are the learnings of a secret agent.

Check out

JustMeWriting said...

kiki: LOL... yeah, girl I love it too, it's just not where it's at for me. I know where I belong and It's just time I act accordingly...thanks lady.

dc: lol..yeah, I know that's right dude.

oe: LOL.. That's the absolute truth there...ALL OF IT.

The Second Sixty-Eight said...

That was good! I support you 100...95% on that Dollbably! So if ya feel two hands keeping gravity away from ya caboose, know that it is me having ya back!

And that missing 5%? I can do without gratuitous sex with others! But I gotta love me! And it ain't nasty!

JustMeWriting said...

THANK YOU SHUGA... I really appreciate that.

Ticia said...

This was very awesome--thank for those 12 steps---

I am lacking mos def in some of them---

I flirt too much---especially since there is no chance in hell they could ever smell it!! LOL

My birds are good ladies, so thats awesome---

I hate the booty call---UH...never was into that!

Barrie said...

Thanks for this article, pretty helpful piece of writing.
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