Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Who's a REAL threat to your relationship?

I saw this article on Yahoo yesterday and HAD to post it. I'll have my comments in red

The Co-Worker

In most work settings, your partner has maybe hundreds, probably dozens, or at least a few opportunities to develop good relationships with people who could be potential lovers. In most cases, those relationships are more innocent than baby lambs. Still, the average office has high potential for trouble, because it's where your partner will meet people who think alike, who battle crises side-by-side, who work in close quarters, and who have the opportunity to really get to know (and admire) each other. While it's crazy to obsess over every person your partner works with, chances are that if you have a gut feeling about a lurking somebody, there may be something to it.

Potential Threat Level: 4 stars (out of a possible 5)

- ok this is serious business...because I'm really close with a male co-worker who's married and at one point I think his wife was uneasy about things so I told him she needed to meet me to ease her mind, because women KNOW who's after their man (if she's paying attention) and if she's still not comfee...we can't be tight...bottom line.

The Drunk Stranger

Potential Threat Level: 1 star (unless...)


- this should NEVER be a problem, unless ya dude is a down-right out-and-out dirty dog...in which case...you need to be outta there ANYWAY.

The Ex

Tough one. Some of us want nothing more to do with our exes once we break up. And some of us keep have our exes as our desktop background for years after the split. Since we're very sensitive about the status of the ex (according to national surveys I did for Men, Love & Sex, 20 percent of us think that searching the Internet for an ex is cheating, for example), we all know the stakes. We know that our current partner used to find something attractive about the ex-so we're vulnerable to feeling as if we'll never live up to that prior history. While hooking back up with an ex is tempting, most of remember exactly why we broke up in the first place. Novelty is the greatest temptation toward cheating, and that's one thing an old flame can't offer: the lure of something new.

Potential Threat Level: 2 stars

- not a high level on this one, but I'd say watch and KNOW your mate on this one...how deep did they feel for that person...was he/she the 'one' that got away...who broke up with who and WHY... and are there still feeling involved???

The Opposite-Sex Friend

Drives you crazy, eh? He meets her for coffee every week. She IMs an old college buddy a few times a month. The opposite-sex friend lurks like a hungry wolf, ready to pounce at the next opportunity. While I'm convinced that men and women can both be very good at drawing the line between friendship and romance, the truth is that it's pretty darn easy for a long-lasting friendship to turn into a secretly burning romance. In the aforementioned surveys, one-fifth of men say they secretly love their platonic friend, with many more secretly lusting after them. That doesn't mean that your partner can't have opposite-sex friends, but it does mean that as the friendship grows, so do the odds of trouble.

Potential Threat Level: 5 stars

-DING-DING-DING...RING THE ALARM ON THIS ONE...OOOOHHHH... DANGER, DANGER, DANGER...LOL. (ok, so it should be evident how personal this is and LOOK AT THE LEVEL) All I'll say about this is, If you're mate has a 'friend' of the oppisite sex they BETTA become a friend of yours TOO and if NOT...they're OUTTA HERE. Seriously, I'm not saying you have to hang out with them, but they shouldn't wait in the car while she/he's in the house...what's wrong with them coming in and speaking to you?!?!?! HUM, the eyes are the window to the soul people...they reveal so much...you need to get yourself around that friend...watch how they interact with YOUR mate...bottom line again...PAY ATTENTION...(maybe I'll share my story regarding this ONE DAY) lol.



28 comments:

Blah Blah Blah said...

Funny that... I read the same article.
I'm not sayin'....
...but I am just sayin' that the Oppiste Sex Friend is the one that stands out the most for me...
I have no problem meeting his female friends... but chances of him meeting mine...sliiiiim. lol

JustMeWriting said...

LOL... dag, now see...hahahah, well I hope he doesn't know that...LOL and thanks for the visit.

Sojourner G said...

All good thought provokers! Yeah, the opposite sex friend is DEFCON 1 stuff to be sure.

Anonymous said...
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anonymousnupe said...

Interesting. (I was all set for you to throw in "Wil Robinson" on the end of your "Danger! Danger!") You gotta watch them sistas at church, too! My wife made the observation years ago, "I see how they look at you. Deep down in the recesses of their sanctified souls, they want you! After that I started watching the signs more carefully, and I think she's right! Now I always get nervous on the rare occasion when I find myself alone with one of the "fly" ones. Also, about a year ago my now excommunicated pastor, as a matter of fact, was essentially voted from his post after he was caught in a dalliance with a woman...who was not his wife (a hood rat, at that, for lack of a better description) to whom he was ostensibly "ministering." (And it wasn't his cheating that got him ousted, either, but his continued attempts to manipulate his way out of the situation after Luke 12:2 had already caught up to him.)

The Diva's Thoughts said...

I must say...this is hard to decide but I must go with the opposite sex friend. They are closer and have more history

deepnthought said...

why was I reading your read comments and screaming out loud. You know great minds think alike and thats all I am gon say.

Ms. Behaving said...

It would have to say that the opposite-sex friend would most likely be the threat to my relationship (if ever there were one) as:

A.) I made the decision years ago to never...ever....ever....ever again date a co-worker/mix business with pleasure

B.) drunks (to me) are a M-A-J-O-R turnoff and being a stranger only multiplies the feeling that much more

and C.) the EX....well he is an EX for a reason--so there's NO POINT in reliving that one!.

JustMeWriting said...

soj: YES...LOL...DEFCON FOR SURE.

anonupe: LOL... oh heck yeah, sadly you've got a LOT of women going to church to heal their broken hearts, but by ways of replacement...LOL so they've got those eyes wide open and the men up in there...women can be the most...well I'll just stop there...lol.

diva: THEY ARE JUST DANGER...DANGER...LOL.

deep: LOL...you did right to scream, because that's ALL I was doing when I read it...LOL.

ms.b: GIRL... you'd betta check-um at the door...LOL. ESPECIALLY when you're married or living together...THEY AIN'T GOT NO FRIENDS BUT CHU...(made me get ebonical)LOL.

Opinionated Diva said...

yeah...I agree with everyone else...the opposite sex friend is clearly the biggest threat.

While women can befriend men and keep it at the friend level. A lot of men seem to have a problem maintaining a platonic relationship with the opposite sex.

It's just my opinion guys, but if you disagree, that's cool.

Mizrepresent said...

Ditto for me on the opposite sex friend. "If she's your friend, then she's got to be my friend too!" Great post!

JustMeWriting said...

op.d: I DISAGREE... women are scandelous most men don't have the time nor patience to sit and wait and prey, but a women...oh she'll wait and befriend...and wait and befriend and wait and YEARS will have gone by with her in 'friend' mode, but she's just been waiting...she wants to be your man's everything...she wants to be thoughtfull when you're being thoughtless...she wants to remember whatever you forget...she wants to wear what you don't wear or just wear it a lil better...lol. SHE'S a problem and what happens when you say or feel somekind of what...ya dude thinks your trippen or have insecure... (YEAH, YOU GOT ME...THIS IS MY STORY...LOL. AND HE'S NOW MARRIED TO THAT 15 YEAR LONG FRIEND)lol...it's all good now, but boy did I suffer then.

anonymousnupe said...

Seriously? He married the huss, uh, homewrecker? Now I wonder if she lets him have any playtonic frins?

JustMeWriting said...
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CapCity said...

yea, Sistah JMW - as u commented to op.d - women are WAYYYYYYYY more devious than men. think i'll post on it & get women pizzed at me. lol! i really don't think there's ANYthing a man can do to hurt a woman as deeply as a woman can hurt a man...hence, few women friends in my life (well, developed more since i've gotten older, but them young, catty heffers...smh...:-).

Vixen said...

I'm wit ya on the Opposite Sex Friend...been there done that.

Cool Blog - great to read from a philly girl. Eat a Cheesesteak for me, I miss 'em.

mark said...

@ JMW

I cant feel that opposite friend bull ish to tight either.

Like you said what happens when your relationship is going through the rainstorms that visit all of us the other person is thier bieng carring, understanding, you know all of the things your special someone thinks you arent bieng at the time.

Latter for all of that friendship stuff I have seen to many affairs although I myself pleads the fifth.

JustMeWriting said...

cap: YES...WOMEN ARE SOMETHING ELSE... but you've just got to PAY ATTENTION, I don't have time for games and I don't need any so called 'friends' that I've got to watch.

vixen: THANK YOU and HELLO... girl, the murder rate make will make you glad to be away. thanks for the visit, please do come again.

mark: LOL... ain't no pleadin the 5th...lol, yeah, those heffa's are just DEAD wrong and I'm about to start a protest group against them...LOL.

The Brown Blogger said...

damn that opposite-sex best friend

Michelle said...

agree with the biggest threat being the opposite sex frnd...i see him mentioning too much of 'her' and it rings sirens in my head...lol its the same case for him...

Sojourner G said...

Dang Shug! Sorry to hear about the past, but like Gloria Gaynor, You Have Survived!!!!
Congratulations and Praise Him!

Ingrid said...

Hey! I swung by Slump's spot and saw your comment. LOL! Thanks I enjoyed reading your blog. Feel free to stop through and hang out for a while. I'm at http://ingridspeaks.blogpot.com

You just got added to my blogroll. You are funny!

JustMeWriting said...

brown: you ain't NEVER lied about that...lol, they are evil and must be destroyed...lol (thanks for the visit)

michelle: girl, you'd betta pay attention to that, and make sure you get to know the chic.

soj.: I KNOW it was terrible then, but Thank God that's over...and YOU know I'm so grateful.

JustMeWriting said...

ingrid: WHY THANK YOU LADY...LOL, yeah, those statements were so on point...I try to keep my mouth shut sometimes, but I was glad you said it all...lol. thank you and i'll be adding you as well.

dc_speaks said...

u try to keep your mouth shut sometimes?....hmmmmmph

no comment...lol

JustMeWriting said...

oh you be quiet...I was TRY...and SOMETIMES...LOL.

Honey-Libra said...

WHYYY did I read the same article LOL..too funny

JustMeWriting said...

SEE... and I'm sure you were saying the same thing...LOL. hey lady...nice to see you again.