Friday, June 22, 2007

"Why Our Children Hate Us" (Final Excerpt)

Ok, since there are so many people wanting to get the book, I've decided to not wrap it up, or comment so we can do it TOGETHER...yippy. This is the LAST page I'll post ( After my oldest son read this page I asked him what parts did he think pertained to he and I as a family...guess what he said NONE (thanks God for making me a pretty decent mother (father)) The one area that would apply is Trust, but he knows that's earned and can be re-earned. FYI- ALL the excerpts I've posted are from the FIRST 5 pages of the book (amazing)

Why Our Children Hate You!

You don't know them.
You don't speak to them.
You don't believe them.
You don't trust them.
You don't listen to them.
You don't warn them.
You don't protect them.
You don't worship them.
You don't claim them.
You don't guide them.
You don't love them.

You push them.
You deceive them.
You doubt them.
You use them.
You betray them.
You expose them.
You blame them.
You mock them.
You ignore them.
You fear them.
You hate them.

Yet, they are our children. They are us. and they are our only future, our only hope.
We are the ONLY species who have forgotten their importance. ("Why Our Children Hate Us")

I REALLY want to get into this bad y'all but Ima wait until those who will (GET THE BOOK)!
But for now, I'd like you guys to look at this list REAL hard...we've all been subjected to most or some of the above treatments by Black adults and even our parents and I'm sure, if we're honest we can remember subjecting a child to some of the same treatments. We're KILLING our children and we're making them hate us and in turn themselves. Can you guys tell me the ONE of those treatments/behaviors you're guilty of with your own child or any other black child. They always say "God bless the child that's got his own" but how much more blessed would that child be


Anonymous said...

Raising children is like trying to hit a moving target. There are so many things that come into play. *How did your parents raise you?
*How did that shape you?
*Are their differences in the way you want to raise yours compared to how you were raised?
*Do you account for how society has changed? (What the heck is "time out" any way?)
*How much do your children's friends influence their thoughts about how they are being raised?
*Do you have a villiage?
*Do you have a spouse or active baby parent?
*Do you think your kids will understand what you are trying to do any more than what you understood about what your parents were trying to do?
*Are you raising in the teaching and admonition of the Lord or on MTV, BET, or any other TV?
*Are you guarding their eyes and ears?

All these things can and do affect the perception of how good a job is being done and will go a long way in not only determining how kids will "turn out" but also how they will raise theirs.

JustMeWriting said...

you're so right, as usual. I think it also comes down to what you as a parent want from your child
-what kind of impact do you want to place on them?
-how do you want to affect them?

There's no manual to consort with except the Bible, but overall we rely on just what you've mentioned above...we take all those bits and put them together and pray for the best. The problem with today's parents is that most of them DON'T care what their child thinks of them. They don't care if they love, respect or admire them...they don't care about them and they show it.
-don't care what they eat.
-where or when they sleep
-what the future will hold for them
NOTHING is of concern.

Then you have those who for whatever, reason go OVERBOARD. They're so determined to protect, preserve and prevent they cause their children to ignore the message and hate them.

I've always believed in that healthy medium...that mid-line between Alright and Not-so wrong that line that the parents can draw together. Being a friend second, but a parent them what they NEED before you give what they want and not subjecting them to YOUR issues (THE BIGGEST PROBLEM) with raising children; the parents have yet to be raised.

Lo said...

This is such an excellent post, Tanya. Very, very necessary. This is the reason we have so many problems with the current generation (heck, and prior ones). There's no happy medium in the parenting realm.

Ms. Behaving said... more torture LOL. Thanks gurl :-D

I still can't get over the fact that the excerpts you've shared thus far are ONLY from the first few pages of the book...

You know what that means don't you??? We've got a lot more to look forward to in the remaining pages.

Have I said yet that I can't wait??

This brotha is ON POINT and any person who cannot admit to having done at least one (if not more) of the things on that list is not being honest with him or herself--much less the rest of us.

SIGH--Aiight--you got my hype again LOL.

Let me sit back and patiently wait for my book.


Nic said...

Hey girl.

I'ma have to get myself together and buy this book :) I don't have any children yet, but I have some g-d kids. I'm guilty of not worshiping them, but I don't know if I would do the same with my own children in the future. I honestly feel that I don't do many of the things on the list, but.......that don't mean s***.
When I was younger, I felt like my mother and father commited every one of those crimes. Even now I feel that way. They wanted me to be an adult right out of the womb.
I don't know what was wrong with my family, but that's besides the point. Whenever I think of the parent/child relationship I imagine a car. Mom is in front driving. She's looking straight ahead, and focused. While the child is looking out the side window. Everythings moving quickly. It's all a blur. Same car different views.
Not sure if that will make sense to anyone but my whacky ass, but ehh. Who cares what I think anyway.

Thanks for sharing this with us.


JustMeWriting said...

WOW...nic, either I'm just as whacky, or great minds think alike...I've never thought about that before, but that makes SO MUCH SENSE. I don't like to use the words "good" and "bad", but with that though:

The "Good" Mother driving the car will have made sure her child is safly strapped in. Maybe they've given them a favorite toy to be intertained by or entertain him/her with a song or conversation as they give them frequent looks and smiles...this mother even while driving is conscious of their needy child...she's focused on the road ahead while loving and caring for her child.

The "Bad" Mother driving the car is thoughtless as to even her childs safty...leaving him/her to strap themselves in. She's not paying attention to what her child is doing; maybe she's on the phone or trapped in the concerns of HER world absent of her child. She's yelling and behaving poorly (road rage) in front of her child...oblivious as to the example they'er setting. This mother might even get out of the car and FORGET her child is still inside...but wait, we've already SEEN this happen...and what happened, the child dies.

Anonymous said...

OMG WOW.....



JustMeWriting said...

lo: hey lady...YES, we're JACKING this thing up big time and it's nobody's fault but our own.

ms.b: GIRL...LOL. I can't wait til you get it so we can talk about. It's SOOO much to talk about too, and you're going to love it.

JustMeWriting said... like what they saying huh lil ms. LOL... yeah, just wait girl we're going to have soo much to talk about.

dc_speaks said...


Andrew The Asshole said...

Ask the Ass Mondays are coming up don't forget to submit your questions.

Ray said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Miz JJ said...

Wow. This book sounds amazing. I am going to get it for my brother.

JustMeWriting said...


andy: OK...I'm thinking of something now. lol

miz jj: hey, YEAH, it's really NO JOKE, you've got to check it out...

Dominic said...

It can't work in actual fact, that's what I think.
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