Sunday, August 12, 2007

My Alabaster Box

People often ask me why I, a conscious black woman, would believe in Jesus Christ, the religious figure of my/our oppressor (White America). And, I must admit it's something I've struggled with in times past; as I'd watch footage of klan action against my people and here them proclaim Christ, or as I'd see the stain of racism on the face of a clergymen as he forces an embrace around me and mine. As my anger grew toward the injustice’s brought forth by racial disparity, questions arose about my faith.

Was it planted in me through history? As my people adopted European names, did they also adopt Christ? Is He real and is He mine? I began to challenge my belief like De' Carte, but I didn’t throw away everything unknown and unproven. In this case, “God knew my heart,” and prepared a mental quest for me. He allowed me to remember His presence; He allowed me to feel His hand; He allowed me to find comfort as I lay at His feet then He allowed me to ask questions and blessed me with answers.

I didn’t come to love, know or want to believe, but He called me by name, with no doing of my own. I knew there was something different about me from childhood and I knew that difference was my relationship with the Lord. I wasn’t comfortable being out of His grace and I couldn’t wait to get home to listen to my gospel and hear the word on the radio. He reminded me of those times and I can hear Him saying, “Before you were in love with being Black, you were in love with Me.” “Before we were introduced, you Knew Me.”

I’ve stopped asking questions and separated Christ from the foolishness of the world. I’ve decided not to allow the distorted thinking and behaviors of others to tarnish my faith. I’ve accepted my calling. I view things as isolated incidents of evil workers and not a spiritual plan to further stifle the growth of my culture. When people ask me why I ,a conscious black woman, would believe in Jesus Christ, I say because I’ve tried Him and I Know Him…I didn’t come by this on accident and I wasn’t trained in my thinking; my life pays daily for this relationship and the cost is dear.


Tom_Gurl said...

So many things happen daily in this world, that makes an individual question their faith...and question God, but there's always something to remind you that God is real, and everyday is another blessing from Him.

I'm not baptised, but I attend church regularly...there has been things over the years that have happened in my life, that has made me question my faith, but God has always found a way to remind me that though I don't understand why things happen-He knows the reason-as He has a bigger plan...I just have to trust in Him-cos He will see me through...

Anonymous said...

I loved your blog. Today I have been questioning God. It was what I needed to hear!

Anonymous said...

I really like the song too. Do you respond to your comments. I would like to ask you for advice!

Opinionated Diva said...

Wow girl deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

JustMeWriting said...

t.g: YES girl, life will throw so much at you it's crazy, but that's why you've got to STAY in the word. One of my meditation scriptures (taped to my monitor) is,

"Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever thingsa are of good report, if there is any wirtue and if there is anything praiseworthy-meeitate on these things." (Philippians 4:8)

We've GOT to follow Ephesians 6:10-20...that's IT for me. I was baptised when I was a child, but I'm planning to do it again as an adult.

b.c: hey, I'm glad you were blessed by this post...and I sure do respond to my comments, and you can always email me personally at (thanks for the visit).

op.d: haha, yes girl.

Shai said...

Right now religion gives me a headache. Plus to watch a fam member go nutz with her church makes me leery.

Ticia said...

Well Amen... I praise the lord for you!!!

GC said...

Shame Shame Shame on people for taking your joy and your faith and trying to make it a color issue.

JustMeWriting said...

shai: that's the thing, people seek to have a relationship with a CHURCH, or a PASTOR instead of with GOD. People will lead you in the wrong direction, that's why it's imperative you read God's word and talk to Him about things.

ticia: thanks lady...we've got to hold each other up in prayer.

gc: girl, yes...but that's people for you.

Opinionated Diva said...

I'm sooooooooo with you on that one Shai.

Two of my uncles are ministers and it gives me a headache even thinking about all the evil lying they do!

DJ Black Adam said...

The first organized church (The Coptic Church of Egypt and the oriental churches of Ethiopia and Eritrea) were established by Apostle Mark in AFRICA.

Nuff said.

Honey-Libra said...

I think it takes people to go through certain things to come to realize that God (or who they recognize thier "God" to be) exists..I've realized that i would be here or as blessed as I unless it was for him..and I leave it at that...others can believe what they want but it's easy for me to believe in God...and I dont question it :)

JustMeWriting said...

op.d: yeah...that's how people are and that's a shame, but that's people.

dj: LOL... yeah, well almost everything started with us.

honey: "it's easy for me to believe in God." YES, that's the truth, but even Abraham asked the Lord questions and went trustingly where He was led...that's a wonderful thing. You can't go back and forth in your thinking, but you've got to know that you're going because You want to because you're satisfied with Him.

Nic said...

Hey T,

I don't go to church that often, but I do consider myself to be a religious person. I have two problems with churches.

1. It's hard to tell which ministers/deacons/reverends,and pastors are legit.
I don't want to be taught The Word from a person that's not commited to doing things the right way.

2. Who's to say that that persons interpretations of the bible are correct. They might actually have good intentions, but lack some fundamental knowledge of the true facts....whatever they may be.

Also, I had a sorta bad experience at the last church I was attending/visiting. It is one of those humongus churches. Every week the reverend would go on and on about how we need to give tithes. I mean seriously....that was all he ever talked about. No biblical messages at all. I actually got my mother out of bed one sunday so that she witness it for herself. Well when we got there, the ushers handed were handing everyone the weekly pamphlets. We sat down and started to listen. When I realized that he was speaking bout money again I started to look over the thick paper 8 page up-to-date color pamphlet. A full page was dedicated to tithes. Now I have no problem giving tithes, but please dont put in print how much money a person would need to offer each week in order to get into Heaven.
It was an actuall full page chart.
Yearly income on one side-------how much you need to give on the other. The funny thing is that the income ranges started at 60,000. LOL! Way higher than what I earn.

I was so disgusted. Stop wasting money on printing books. Open up the "Good one"!

Sorry for the rant.

DJ Black Adam said...


Sorry to butt in knewday, BUT

Nic, you said:

“1. It's hard to tell which ministers/deacons/reverends,and pastors are legit.
I don't want to be taught The Word from a person that's not commited to doing things the right way.”

Hmmmm. I am sure that there are a lot of preachers who are legit, where are you looking?

“2. Who's to say that that persons interpretations of the bible are correct. They might actually have good intentions, but lack some fundamental knowledge of the true facts....whatever they may be.”

Bibles are available pretty readily, printed in many different languages, many with study companions and concordances. Many are written at an 8th grade reading level, so why not get knowledge of the “fundamentals or true facts” for yourself?

Nic said...

@ dj,
Actually I do study on my own. The issues listed above are my problems with CHURCH, not religion as a whole.

"I don't go to church that often, but I do consider myself to be a religious person. I have two problems with churches"

Nic said...

@ dj again,

Thanks for the tips though.

DJ Black Adam said...


Wasn't trying to bother you (so pardon me if I overstepped in my questions and comments).

However, if you study the Word, then you more than likely have an understanding of fundemental biblical truths, therefore, finding a church that teaches from your perspective should be quite possible.

I was just interjecting because I have found that there are many great bible teaching, socially active, community supporting, biblically sound, Christ demontsrating churches out there, finding one that works for you is possible.

DJ Black Adam said...


I'm sorry for being so blunt (wasn't trying to be rude of course), but you know I live in Chicago, so often I have some brotha from the Nation of Islam or some Black Hebrew Israelite coming to me ranting about Jesus and the "white man's religion" etc., etc. which irritates me because that really isn't historically accurate.

But anyway, I rant...

JustMeWriting said...

dj: lol...I don't mind at all, go right ahead sir (I'm in agreement)

nic: hey lady-bug, I hope you had an enjoyable

1)"It's hard to tell which ministers/deacons/reverends,and pastors are legit." Sadly this factor is a huge problem for would-be-believers. The ONLY way to get around that is to go to God for yourself. He's the ONLY one who'll be able to guide you.

People are flawed and like you said, their intentions might be good, but being human leaves much room for error, so questions need to be asked and that requires having a relationship with God Himself.

On the whole tithes thing; that's a hugh problem for a lot of people, but again, you've GOT to know the word for yourself. The church is NOT supposed to have more then the people, but the Lord admonishes against that in His word:

1 “Woe to the shepherds who destroy and scatter the sheep of My pasture!” says the LORD. 2 Therefore thus says the LORD God of Israel against the shepherds who feed My people: “You have scattered My flock, driven them away, and not attended to them. Behold, I will attend to you for the evil of your doings,” says the LORD. 3 “But I will gather the remnant of My flock out of all countries where I have driven them, and bring them back to their folds; and they shall be fruitful and increase. 4 I will set up shepherds over them who will feed them; and they shall fear no more, nor be dismayed, nor shall they be lacking,” says the LORD."

So, again, the ONLY way to grow spiritually is to KNOW the word of the Lord for yourself. When I entered into a relationship with God I was pretty much the only one in my family having done so, with the exception of my Grandmother, but my parents didn't go to church or enforce reading the bible at home, but I sought to know Him so I dived into things on my own (well not on my own, since I belive He brought me to Him).

Read the word; I started from the New Testament and went back around to the Old Testament and once you've read it in its entirity READ IT AGAIN... God speaks to the heart of His children, so you'll never be led astray once you KNOW Him.

Nic said...

@ dj,

Naw, it's cool. Blogging is about reading, sharing, commenting, anything and everything.

I like to hear (read) what people are thinking. Besides it's not my blog anyway :)

Shai said...

No offense Knewday. I have ran across folks say read the Word and whatnot to know God. Reading the Bible ain't easy even with study guides.

It is hard for me to put into words exactly I feel about this. All I know is I hear folks say what to do and it does no good.

You can read and pray and so forth and still not get it. If you can understand that.

GC said...

I agree with you about it being hard. I set a task for myself to read the bible in a year. It's not going too well. I only pray when I have problems. But I once heard/read somewhere that if God was easy to comprehend, he wouldn't be God. Also, in my religion (I won't say which), there was a prominent writer who said that nature is God's letter to his children. There are many ways for us to experience God. Maybe church doesn't work for everyone all the time (sure isn't working for me right now) but I want to wrap up this mini-post all up in Knewday's blog by saying, I once met a Muslim who said to me that they believe that "if you take one step toward Allah, he will take two steps toward you".

Shai said...

I can read a chapter or verse a million times and it not register.

I think about how folks who can be so sure about God once was not and for some it took more than just reading the Word or listening to the words of believers. Ya know.

Nic said...

I feel you on that.

DJ Black Adam said...


I think that people who are sure about God, are sure because of personal revelation and experience of Him. Heck, when I was in Judaism I knew the Torah like the back of my hand, as well as the rest of the Tanakh (Old Testament), I didn't really "know" God or become sure of Him until after I recieved Christ and by that relation came into a real relationhip with God above and beyond the religion I was in.

Scripture gives you information, relationship gives you understanding

JustMeWriting said...

shai: no taken at all and I know what you mean, but I think the problem is a lot of people read the bible with

a)scrutiny already in their heart
b)with impatience already in place
c)no prior submission to the Lord

I believe understanding will be limited if these things are in place. You have to pray for understanding. You'd have to ask the Lord to lead you through His word, which requires prior submission TO His word. The Bible is a Gift...and you've got to recieve it as such; with thanksgiving.

I know it's not easy, but nothing is...draw near to the Lord and He'll draw near to you. I've always thought of the "sower of seeds" parable in conversations like this..."He who has ears to hear, let him hear." (Luke 8- please read this message) What it means to me, is that everyone has ears, but we don't all hear the same...I felt like Christ was talking to those who have the heart to open their ears to hear Him...and that power comes after the submission.

JustMeWriting said...

dj: LOL...DAG, that's pretty much what I was writing...(kinda) I just took too long.

Shai said...

@DJ:"Scripture gives you information, relationship gives you understanding"

That makes better sense. The relationship part is what I don't have and don't get.

Shai said...

@Knewday: The unlearning of stuff I got from when I was younger in church and from trying out different churches.

I think what frustrates me most is teachers who don't remember how it was being newbie studying and then they throw things at you expecting you to get it.

JustMeWriting said...

shai: YES... you're so right about that...people who think they've 'got it' always talk about how easy it is to, but that's why you've got to go beyond the veil; beyond the teachings of the people and talk to God. You don't have to be trained in how to speak to Him, just close the door, turn off the lights, let the room be still and quiet and tell Him what's on your mind.

Sheletha said...

Oh taste and see....

this is a great post...

DJ Black Adam said...


I can send you something (e.mail) that might help. It is an e-book I wrote, it's only 32 pages, all I ask is that you promise to give me your honest opinion before I publish it.

Let me know:


Shai said...

@DJ: Thanks for asking me to review your work. You can email to I am having CPU problems so I won't be able to read it until later this week when I can jump on someone else's home computer, I cannot read personal mail at work.

@Knewday: I have to say this discussion has calmed my frazzled nerves. I have fam issues and my mom's involvement with this crazy church is one of them. SMH.

I think I have some new area to write poetry on. This discussion has inspired me to write on a subject I barely have written about: my quest for Truth.

Ms. Behaving said...

I definitely believe that someone or something of a higher power exists.

When you encounter so many hypocrites though, and you live in a day/world where almost everybody is corrupt in one way or another, I can certainly see why some people (myself included) have their reservations as far as religion/beliefs are concerned.

DJ Black Adam said...

@Ms. Behaving:

Based on your pressupositions, I can understand how one could have reserveations about "religions" if one means the religious organizations and institutions which are inherently flawed as they are run by inherently flawed humans (as humasn by definition are flawed), but how does that extend to beliefs?

I'm just asking because in the actuality where you have flawed pastors, imans, rabbis or whatever, in the case with Christians, shouldn't one base their acceptance of rejection of Him based on Him (meaning what is written in the Gospels and the rest of the NT) as opposed to what people (regardless of the religious title) who are not him do in their human failings?

I'm just asking, feel free to ignore me.

Ms. Behaving said...

@ DJ Black Adam -- Perhaps I didn't use the best choice of words here.

I obviously don't possess as much expertise on the subject so...tell you what [I'm going to be waiting over here in the corner for some guidance].

I'll be the one standing corrected.

DJ Black Adam said...

@Ms. Behaving:

Oh not at all, I wasn't trying to "correct" you (or anyone) just wanted to better understand what you were saying.

I meant no disrepsect, just a bit of dialouge.

Mizrepresent said...

I have long ago held onto my personal beliefs and relationship with our lord and savior and Christ...i know a lot people will discount, try to prove all my beliefs wrong, but it's what gets me through the day, through life, knowing i have someone who loves me more than life, who understands me, MIz, with all her faults, who will welcome me into his kingdom. There is no other like that out there for i believe in Christ the Savior! Great POst!

malieta said...

Amen to you Just!
I definately believe in God, he has carried me through some rough times. Without that strength I don't know how I would have made it!!!What "gets me" is why is it us? We can't (as a race of people) get our act together. The poorest neighborhoods have a church on every corner yet the highest crime rate. I don't know what Gods master plan is, but I am so afraid for our youth. This subject has moved me and always does. But I have to applaud you on taking a stand on what you believe. You are a "rock"

Mega Rich said...

Just me, I came by to say hi, but looks like DJ Adam is holding class up in here, so I'm heading over to see what else he's preaching.

Great Post

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...


DJ Black Adam said...



Fascinating. It appears that more relevent to we of the African diaspora, is to know OUR HISTORY. Our ancestors from East and North Africa were involved in the very beginnings of the Christian tradition, and before any "white" missionary set foot on the shores of West Africa, there were people who had recieved the Christian tradition from the east, as well as Jewish, Muslim and our indigenous traditions.

natural muze said...

"Scripture gives you information, relationship gives you understanding."

okay, i'm late, but i love this. so true. maaan i might have to make this blog a part of my daily reading! off to link jmw...

feels good b n FREE said...

HOW did i miss this.
i just want to say, u spoke for me justme, in this post.
sometimes people don't get it with me
but i believe...rather i know because i have experienced first hand, the power of God in my life.
great post and great comments!!

Nitty-Gritty said...

This was such a wonderful post. just when you think that you are alone in a spiritual walk... God is the Spirit religion is for Man. Love the song... I think I am going to have to steal this. Thanks for this.

JustMeWriting said...

I know I'm WAYYYY late, but @ nitty-gritty, gone girl and steal you're very much welcome.

Anonymous said...

[b]education discount on software, [url=]adobe photoshop cs3 for mac student version[/url]
[url=]coreldraw + sun's reflection[/url] faculty software discounts microsoft budget software
cheap microsoft office [url=]acdsee 10 crashes on mpg files[/url] filemaker pro 10 windows torrent
[url=]discount childrens software[/url] adobe photoshop cs4 cracked
[url=]cheapest software prices[/url] educational software stores
windows xp drivers [url=]student discount computer software[/url][/b]