Monday, April 2, 2007

"How will I know if he really loves me..."

Hey, I'm sure most of you remember that Whitney song..."I say a prayer with every - heartbeat..." (dag...those were her days) Well, the question remains..."HOW DO YOU ACTUALLY KNOW? " I thought about this when I opened an email (article) displaying the following:
Tyneshis Stewart, 19 was killed by her ex-boyfriend (Timothy Wayne Shepherd age 27) , who dismembered her body and burned it on a patio grill. (March 24, 2007 in Houston Texas). Shepherd confessed to strangling and dismembering Stewart who was home on spring break, because he was angry that she had started a new relationship. When asked by neighbors what he was cooking (for so long and with such a pungent odor), Shepherd replied that he was cooking for a wedding.

NOW, I'd seriously like to know what was going throught that poor young woman's head at that time... I'm sure she thought back on moments past when he may have uttered those care-filled words---"I Love You" what's the separator in this thing called "LOVE" how will you know if he/she REALLY loves you as opposed to them just being a complete bag of nuts (without the chocolate chips). DAMN, there's no three step tester either. We've done some things to people we've claimed to love and in turn we've had some things done to us.

In addition to general feed on this topic, i'd also like to know the worst you've done to "love" and/or the worst done to you.

12 comments:

dc_speaks said...

lol..i'm first!

hmmm...there is no way that im going to air my dirty laundry like that for the last request in your post.....but I will say that many many things are said and done in the name of "love". wars, crimes and acts of benevolence too!

being that love is an action word, a person only has to observe the actions, clueless to the real intent behind them.

In reference to this article though, it is far too close to home to get into it. My famile suffered a similar incident a few years ago!

Thanks for the awareness! Great topic!

hamil10 said...

I'm sure we can all relate to another oldie... "it's a thin line, between love and hate." I can't rationalize the brutality you spoke of in the article you referenced, but i can attest that the times I acted out against someone I "loved" it was out of hurt and anger, not love. When we give into those feelings to do harm against someone, it's not because of the love we have for them, it's because of selfishness/the love we have for ourselves... hear me out. Because we couldn't imagine "our lives without them" "ourselves without them" "we can't believe they would do this to us..." that perverted sense of injustice demands retaliation/revenge... and sometimes it's carried out in a most horrific sense that betrays any notion that love once existed in its place.

JustMeWriting said...

YES, and that's exactly what I'm talking about...what we do TO love...not IN or BECAUSE of Love, but how we defame the wonders of such. To reiterate your statement (hamil10) our actions whether we consider them a reaction or not, they're still OUR ACTIONS... having NOTHING to do with love. THANKS GUYS.
and yeah, dc...you know you're USUALLY the first...THANK YOU.

dc_speaks said...

wow....great comments on this post!

palebleu said...

It's wild to know that we all have similar feelings as those that drove that man to do such a thing to his girlfriend. Maybe it's like pale lemon compared to flourescent yellow- but it's still the same color! I see it in myself far too often. If I don't keep myself in check I slip into the mode of just looking to have my expectations met by a significant other. It takes a lot of help from God to twist myself into anything close to what I think I SHOULD be about- giving what little I can without looking for anything in return. When I can manage to see things that way, THAT is when I feel free and satisfied with myself. Maybe I can throw out that question to everyone- Why do you think we have such high expectations for our significant others compared even to those we have for our friends? Why it's so much easier to be disappointed by or frustrated with the former? What can we do to keep our heads and perspectives about those people?

JustMeWriting said...

girl, there's NOTHING too much we can do... Pray for our sanity...that's about it...Pray for Clarity and ask God to guide you in your decision making...He won't lead you astray, but you've got to LISTEN.

CapCity said...

I continue to be optimistic that Love is not Crazy or Harmful because it is blessed by our Creator. Maybe i'm naive, but when i get signals of the love "going over an edge" - whether from me or my love-subject, I walk away...

great post topic & comments from everyone - quite insightful!

CortneyGee said...

There is definitely a thin line between in love and insane .. I once in the name of insanity camped outside my ex's house for a whole day .. almost choked the mailman ... guess he delivered late it was dark thought he was trying to creep up on a come up...

JustMeWriting said...

LOL...CG: that is TOOOOO funny. WOW. which brings the question...FEAR VS FLATERY...HUM! lol, because at what point does the "Awwww...Cortney, you really DO love me" turn to..."I KNOW YOU AIN'T BEEN OUT HERE ALL DAY...WIT CHA CRAZY SELF"... lol. WOW, thanks for sharing (loved it)

CC (oh...that's my new nickname for you Capcity) lol. anyway, you're on point as usual...Love patient and kind and all that 2 Corinthians says it is, we've just to learn to treat it as such...or like you, learn when to just walk away.

thank you sista-girl!

KIKI said...

Ok so I'm late to the party...but doesnt being in love and getting hurt kind of go hand in hand. I'm not saying that everyone you love is going to hurt you, but can you really be hurt (to the extent of doing harm) by someone you dont love? I mean, if you're not someone I care about I could care less what you do or say to me, but if you're someone that I love and you do something foul, yeah that hurts. And if you hurt me to that extent, like the others have said, it's best for me to walk away...cause even if they don't feel the same, I really hate hurting the ones I love, and honestly, my first response when I'm hurt is to hurt you twice as bad.

Like DC...I can't divuldge what I may or may not have done to an ex...that shyt might still be under investigation!LOL

Good post

JustMeWriting said...

Yes, that's how I feel; I hate hurting the ones i love, but it's like who can you NOT hate it... that's kinda what I'm talking about that warped space between I love you and I'm going to Kill/Hurt you...it's like well where's the Love...I don't know...it's a forever question. thanks for the comment KiKi.

Clinton said...

Thank you for this article, quite effective data.
preschool songs | Nicaragua food | map New Mexico