Friday, June 8, 2007

Black Men, PLEASSSSSEEEEEE get it RIGHT!!!

OK, this thought came about when I was on ms. behavin page, she there told of how this youngin tried to come at her in the WRONG way...I was so irked I decided to do a post about it. I'm going to do a lil Do/Don't step by step guide to approaching a WOMEN (based on what I like of course)

1) DON'T CALL HER SIS OR SHORTY/ DO observe your 'prey' (y'all know I'm silly, so don't be mad) and base your approach on how you preceive her to be...ie, if she's walking with a business suit on, you'd betta come in a very professional way, but PLEASE no over kill. (actually I think ALL women should be approached with the same respect, but bottom line, know the object you're desiring and base the approach on that.

2) DO know what you want...men (black men, since that's all I know) will stop and talk to ANY AND EVERY woman they see; that's soooooo unattractive. We KNOW we've not been in eye-shot long enough to have caught your attention...but the fact that I'm a female was enough (huh) and then those who wait till you pass, get a look at cha booty then decide to yell for you to give them a minute...PUNK, I'm giving you ONE second and it's already GONE...

3) DO be tactful...DON'T be tacky....(real simple) PLEASE PLEASE don't try to 'keep it real' because that's WRONG... you don't know me well enough and do you REALLY think you saying..."girl when I saw you, my (BEEEEEPPPP) shot to the roof...I'm just keepen it real; we're both adults!" is impressive... NO, apparently, there's only ONE adult present and boo-boo, it ain't chu.

4) DO be creative...it's ok guys, we KNOW you've got it in you. This initial stage of meeting is the most impressional...this is what determins IF and how we're going to take you...don't waste those precious moments being stupid, bland, and boring....tasteful humor USUALLY works on most women.

5) DON'T approach as if you're applying for a job...YES, you're trying to get our attention, but there's no need to come with this: "I've got a job, my own crib and no kids"...who decided that to be the criteria for the perfect man...NOBODY, YOU'VE BEEN DUPED, GO GET YOUR MONEY BACK.

6) DO act like I'm worth your time...don't rush this meeting if you don't have to. Take a good FIVE minutes AT LEAST to find out if YOU even want to be bothered with this women by asking the pertinant questions before hand...ie, "Are you single and would you be interested in exchanging numbers...I'd love to get to know you over dinner." OOOHHHH... I'm bout to date myself... (and I typed those words in a real sexy voice too yall) LOL.

7) DO ask to see me later that day...(real personal...I love that) plus I'm usually bored. lol, but I really do think that shows some serious interest, but PLEASE don't be pushy...which brings me to my next point...

8) DON'T be pushy...(lol) persistence is ONLY good with Job searching...LOL, seriously...I HATE IT... is't so desperate looking...don't settle. If you're getting attitude and the 'fast walk' bow out gracefully..."Ok, I'm sorry to bother you...have a good day" NOT... "WELL FLUG YOU DEN B@#$%"... that's just not nice.

9) Do try to be on the same well, level...sorry, but if they look like they've got at LEAST a job and you know you've NEVER had and don't want one...try to understand that we can see and pick up on that too...so recognize that you might be wasting your time (sorry!)

10) Do be considerate when approaching women with children...we might not want our kids seeing all that, so please be discrete about things.

OK... those are my majors...what do you guys think?

46 comments:

Nic said...

First!!!!!

Hahaha! you can ignore the comment I made on your last post.

Ms. Behaving said...

Now THAT'S what I'm talkin bout!!

Girl I'ma have to send a couple of copies of this one to the printer. That way, when I run into dude again (because I will considering this is the hood and one can bank on seeing the same faces in the same places)--LOL...I might just get up the courage to pass dat ass a copy!! Hell if he catches me on a good day he's likely to get a few. Pass em on brotha....pass em on!

GREAT POST GIRL!! HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND!!

nic said...

Perfect. This is the best "How-To" plan i've seen in a minute. Now all you have to do is put it to a Jay- Z beat and the men might actually pick it up. LOL!


I kid, I kid!!

Opinionated Diva said...

lmao@these...very concise and to the point, but funny nevertheless.

Girl I cracked up when I read you bout to date yourself! lol

I get a lot of guys that just stare me down. They don't say anything (probably because most of the time, I give them the "don't even think about saying anything to me" look)...so they just watch me...it's creepy!

K.unwrapped said...

LOL! Great post.

#9 sho' is the truth. If I have on business attire, do you REALLY think that you're my type given that you're wearing a Red Dickie outfit with some damn timbs and a do-rag in the DEAD heat of July???

#8 - and how about when you say "I have a man" and they're like "well I just want to be your friend" or "your man doesn't allow you to have friends?" My response? "I already have enough friends." Fool RECOGNIZE when you're being shot down and keep it moving.

The only thing I'd change is #7. Asking to see me later in the day seems tacky/desperate to me, and like he's tryna rush things. Lets talk on the phone to see if we vibe with each other before we start planning dates.

dc_speaks said...

lol...I was the serial sport f*cker and I only did a few of those. I'll just sit back and watch you do your public service announcement.

loved the post, T. hi-fuggin-larious.

Bklyn Diva said...

ok lemme stop laughing and come back and post again LMAO

nic said...

Hey where you at?

dc_speaks said...

lol@you for this JMW: "LOL (I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE PLANEN ON MY PHONE) LOL...LOL...LOL." I have been dying over that.

you and nic killed me referencing that skit.

sorry if it's off topic but I had to say that.

Sojourner G said...

That was good:
PUNK, I'm giving you ONE second and it's already GONE...

ROFL!

"OOOHHHH... I'm bout to date myself... (and I typed those words in a real sexy voice too yall) "

I think I'm gonna choke! Shug you are COMEDY!

All sounds like good advice.
Think I ought to do something from the other side?

Nah, you ladies are experts.

mmmphhh

Shai said...

LOL.

Why this dude the lives near my job always bugging me even when I say I have a man.(Sorry, God for lying, LOL).

One day he said: "Can you be my wife?"

Another day: "Hey, my future babies' momma.:

SMH. LOL.

Shai said...

LOL.

Why this dude the lives near my job always bugging me even when I say I have a man.(Sorry, God for lying, LOL).

One day he said: "Can you be my wife?"

Another day: "Hey, my future babies' momma.:

SMH. LOL.

anonymousnupe said...

Who really approaches women on a random tip like this? And what woman in her right mind gives dudes digits or even the time of day in such an obvious setup? I think it's just gotta be real, flow, happen. You know, like offering a stranded sista at the subway station to share your umbrella (Ella, Ella, Eh, Eh) on the walk to her car in a downpour that she simply absolutely can't wait out. Or glibly asking on the elevator ride up to your floor at work, "I beg your pardon, but people proly tell you you look like Corine Bailey Rae all the time, don't they?" BUT, like the star sang in Bye Bye Birdie," You've got to be sincere. Don't say that to a sister if she don't look like CBR at least a little. Or, back to the subway parking lot, go over and just start scraping the snow off a sista's windshield after you've spied her trying to accomplish it with a jacked up styrofoam cup she picked up off the ground.

Bottom line is, if dude is just lookin' to hit it and quit it he'll come with a line, outta the blue, randomly, and you'll know it ladies. (You still might be receptive to it, but that's another issue altogether.) But if he's confident and understands the dynamics of what goes into a real, potentially long-lasting relationship, he'll find a way to get into your orbit so that he may ingratiate himself to ya' naturally, (or you'll find a way to put him there and let him think he did something.)

That's just an old romantic's take on the matter. "That's what's up."

Opinionated Diva said...

^^Now THAT is definitely what's up @ anonymous Nupe.

Though I doubt I would share the umbrella...I just have very little faith in the sincerity of any random dude that approaches on the street. BUT...it would still be nice if he offered since as y'all know rain is like cryptonite on a sista's do. teehee

The Diva's Thoughts said...

This post is on point. I am also feeling anonymousnupe's comment as well. Good stuff people.

JustMeWriting said...

ok...dag, i'ma have to break dis up...LOL.

nic: DARN...I THOUGH CHU LEFT...LOL (at the last post comment)and ooohhh... I think I'd get R-Kelly to sing it too...LOL.

ms.b: YES GIRL...THAT WOULD BE ON POINT....AND YOU'RE RIGHT LET'S PUT THEM ALL OVER THE PLACE...LOL. (thanks for the fuel lady)

op.d: LOL...GIRL, we might as well date OURSELVES with the crap these dudes try to give us...LOL. heck i'ma do like nic said and marry myself..WHY NOT. lol.

k: lol...girl, I ain't really want to put that #8 out there (I've been accused of being shallow before) but that's some real stuff...and you be like.."sir, do you REALLY think I'd be interested"...LOL. (SORRY y'all it's just jokes) lol.
on #7 I've had some pretty tight dudes do that the RIGHT way...and I was kinda floored...and with it...it was a break from the norm for me.

dc: LOL... I'm glad we've already deal with the 'sport flucker' thing...lol.

bkdiva: SORRY for the distraction of laughter...LOL.

nic: I'M HERE POOKER...LOL.
dc: YEAH...I'VE BEEN SAYING THAT ALL WEEK...LOL.

JustMeWriting said...

soj.g: LOL... thank you shuga...you know we call all learn something from you...lol, so get to given it.

shai: LOL...see what I'm saying...and he thought that was going to impress you...LOL. what a shame.

anonupe: WHY YOU ALWAYYYYYSSSSSSS GOT TO SHOW OFF...LOL. I'd probably go cook some chicken and take it to that man's momma's house for her to taste and make sure I'd be a good wife for her dear loving son...LOL, that kind of stuff doesn't seem to exist anymore...you need to hold some training classes.

op.d: I'm with you on that too...It's hard to take even that (what nupe said) seriously...I've have probably said no thanks too...and missed something wonderful. We've grown so used to getting crap we'd rather not even be bother...and that too is a shame.

diva: BOY... it's a lot of diva's round here...HAHAHAHAH, and all deserving of the title thanks lady...and if only we could be approached like that, but a man we'd be interested in...because that's the other problem...those that do...we don't want and those we want...don't do..LOL. ANOTHER SHAME.

dc_speaks said...

mad props to anon nupe...well said, son(not meant to insult...just how I talk)

ya'lls getting busy in here.

JMW: should I start calling you Brenda now or later?

dc_speaks said...

ring ring ring....may I speak to Brenda please?

hahahahahahaha

dc_speaks said...

hahaha just for you and nic,click here when you want to keep it realJMW's part time personality

Nic said...

Ahhhhhhhhh No DC. My mothers name is Brenda too!!!!!!! hahahaahahaha :)


@ JMW,
I have responded to the last comment you posted on my blog.

It is so funny that DC would put that link up at the same time I was responding to your comment.

Opinionated Diva said...

JMW harassing folks to update their posts...shoo...OK miss lady...I have complied with your wishes...this time!

:-D :-|

deepnthought said...

I like the list of do's and dont's. For me a big don't is please dont use a child as bait to get my attention. especially if the child is bad.

And don't assume because of my physical appearance that I am going to fawn all over myself because you decided to talk to me. Because you think I should settle does not mean I will. And then dont walk off and call me out my name.

Yall are too funny. This post and comments were to much.

JustMeWriting said...

dc: PLEASE STOP...LOL. YOU KNOW I can't take too much of D.C (Dave Chappell) BOY DO I LOVE HIM...LOL.

nic: YEAH...FLUK YO COUCH...FLUK YO COUCH...NUKKA FLUK YO COUCH...LOL. YOU GET ON MY NERVES.

op.d: LOL...that's right...and I'm bout to be there, so you BET-NOT be crappin...LOL.

deep: YOU AIN'T NEVA LIED ABOUT THAT... like they doing you a favor...LOL. CRAZY.

anonymousnupe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
anonymousnupe said...

I just appreciate being allowed to participate in and contribute to such a dynamic forum. Thank you, JMW.

Oh, and all those were actual, true-life, scenarios, not made up.

dc_speaks said...

HAHAHAHAH....JMW: YOU HAVE A SPECIAL BLOG POST DEDICATION JUST FRESHLY POSTED...

HAHAHAHAHAHA

FLUCK YO COUCH....

Anonymous said...

OF COURSE I DIDN'T READ THE WHOLE POST. SOMEBODY IS LONG WINDED AKA TALK TO DAMN MUCH. ANYWAY, WHEN I GIVE YOU MY # MAKE SURE YOU CALL ME CAUSE IF NOT YOU WILL HAVE HELL TO PAY. CAUSE I DON'T PLAY ALL THE TIME! I'LL STALK YOU AND NOT EVEN LIKE YOU. YOU KNOW WHY? CAUSE I DO'S WHAT I LIKES TO DO WHEN YOU DON'T CALL ME. I'M SO CRAZY IT'S ASHAME. YOU THINK THIS IS WHY THEY DON'T CALL ME? OH WELL!

Anonymous said...

DC SPEAKS...SHO' DO SPEAKS ALOT GEE'Z!

JustMeWriting said...

anonupe: LOL...ANYTIME SIR, although I sinced a hint of sarcasm in that...LOL.

dc: THANKS FOR HOOKING ME UP WITH D.C...LOL.

anon: YOU'RE A COMPLETE FOOL...LOL AND DON'T CHU WORRY BOUT DC'S COMMENTS...(HUM)

Brandon said...

Excellent Post! I still know dudes that say "Psssst! Red Dress!" to get a woman's attention. I just wonder who are these women that respond to that so I'll know who NOT to holla at.

Co-sign @ AnonNupe. It's definitely gotta be a non-gimmicky, sincere approach.

JustMeWriting said...

THANK YOU BRANDON...see...so it's not a rumor...almost everybody agreed...if brothers came correct things would be fine, but NOOOO..lol, Yeah...If only most men thought to approach like you nupe suggested and did...alas, we can only imagine...until you brothers prove us wrong.

mark said...

" OOOHHHH... I'm bout to date myself... (and I typed those words in a real sexy voice too yall) LOL."

mark bey: Excellent, Excellent funny and humorous post. You got skillz baby girl( by the way I typed all of this in an extremely sexy voice)

KIKI said...

Hey Just...did you miss me?LOL!

Guuuurrrrl...all 10 were on point!

I stopped at the corner store the other day & as I walked in there was this guy at the counter paying for his goods. I felt him watching me walk to the cooler to get my 6 pack & when I turned around to take my merchandise to the counter, brother man was right there (I damn near knocked him down). He had left his stuff at the counter to step to me & say...and I quote..(after introducing himself with a handshake & asking me my name)"I'm so sorry to bother you, but I couldn't help but notice you when you walked in & I just had to come and tell you what a beautiful woman you are. I'm sure you have a man but if by some small chance you are available I would love to take you out to dinner sometime. Would it be ok if I gave you my number & maybe we could talk sometime?"

I just stood there with my mouth open...It's sad that so many approach with that BS you talked about that you don't know how to react when someone actually steps to you like dey got some sense.

You know after I picked my jaw up off the floor, I took dudes number. Now I just hope that he's not like the last few nukka's I dealt wit who came correct but still turned out to be full of ish! Keep yo fingers crossed! LOL!

Good post lady (sorry if that was long...I'm going thru blog withdrawal)!

tjeanise said...

Good list! Whenever I don't feel like being bothered(always) I hear something like " Smile shorty!"

I then give him the scowl from hell that says leave me the hell alone!

Lame ass.

JustMeWriting said...

mark: LOL...yeah, I heard how sexy that type was...LOL and thank you shuga...it's the best part of me...to me (my humor)

kiki: WHAT...YEAH (I missed u) and I kept checking ya page...NOTHING BUT NET...LOL. I'm like, I can't wait till basketball is over so you can get back to WORK...lol (blog work) AND GIRL, GIRL GIRL..THAT WAS A MANNNNN YOU WERE TALKING TO...GOODNESS...heck yeah, I hope he's got grits with that bacon...lol (I hope the rest is just as good)

tjean: lol...yeah, like those words would make you smile...what a shame...thanks for the visit too...please come again.

The OE said...

A good secret agent doesn't have to approach his prey. He will assess the situation and arrange circumstances so that he can wait patiently while his prey approaches him. At which point he will massage her spirit with his gentlemanly manner until she is utterly defenseless.

Andrew The Asshole said...

Get post. Most men really try too hard. Interact with all women with respect and kindness. Fuck spitting game. This is me...who are you and lets keep it moving. Don't over analyze.

Consistently Inconsistent... said...

Nice and right to the point! Loves it!!! I will be forwarding this to a few friends.

JustMeWriting said...

oe: LOL...I actually like that secret agent approach...LOL...classy.

andrew: LOL... I'm suprised, but that's also CORRECT...lol, too much is just too much.

con.inc: HAHAHA...YEAH, if we spread the word around good enough, maybe we'll make an impact.

Ticia said...

Hey!!

Well, Number 1 and 8 are on point...

I have a post abt being called SEXY.....its a horrible "first thing" to say to a woman..that lets me know you have no sense or respect for me......

8. I hate a pushy man...nothing worse than that... let me breathe---

JustMeWriting said...

hey lady,
lol..dag, horrible huh...and yeah, I can't tolerate pushy people period.

CortneyGee said...

very good post... I'm not one for the games though I'm sure many I have dated would disagree .. And the reason for their not agreeing with me is they never hear the truthsd I speak or the honest visual I am. Sometimes people just have to take folks face value ... and I'm not saying what their faces look like .. when a man says he aint shit .. he aint shit .. and vice versa

JustMeWriting said...

LOL... I KNOW THAT'S RIGHT CORT, it's really all about paying attention, hear that person words and pay attention to their actions...and act accordingly. You're only a fool if you allow yourself to be...thanks dude and long time no see...I know you busy and all, but geesh.

Brotha Buck said...

Looks like I did a few things wrong!

JustMeWriting said...

LOL...LOL... you so silly, well since you're married now...i'd say you did SOMETHING amazingly right.