What's Your Pleasure

“Some people like sniffing panties…”

Sorry for the crass beginning but it is Friday, so anything goes…Right? – RIGHT!

This lil tale of sheer insanity could be another insert into the “Dating Me” series, but I’ll leave the title as is.

Now as many of you know, I rarely get TOO personal in the blogsphere, unless I’m associating it with some sort of social issue or disorder and leaving you guys with a thought, question, or experience to share…and this is no different, but I’m about to get real personal.

I was dating (dealing) with this guy over the last couple of months…it was a somewhat awkward situation because he really didn’t make his interest clear. We met under the pretense of doing some business, but long after the business was over I was still getting random phone calls about pretty much-NOTHING! So, me being the impatient soul that I am, I asked…”what’s the deal dude…business is over, but you’re still calling and it sounds like you’re flirting with me, so what’s up?” – I think you guys know I’m direct, so unraise those eyebrows.

Anyway, I FORCED him into asking me on a date (you know I didn’t really force). So the “relationship” began and before long we were having relations – WARNING: PLEASE DISREGARD PAST POST CONCERNING ABSTINENCE!!!

THE INSANITY BEGINS: Now, I try not to be toooo heavy into astrology, but this guy is a Virgo and the stars say that we don’t mix well…I’m a Sagittarius. The stars said that I’d be bored with this sexual encounter (the stars ain’t neva lied – excuse my ebonics). But, the stars failed to inform me of what was to come. After TWO encounters I’d decided that this just wasn’t worth my time…I mean, if I’m going to ignore the policy of past-post it should at least be worth its “weight in gold.”

Again, my impatient-overly expressive personality kicked in and I told him that we shouldn’t see each other anymore because we were “sexually incompatible”…for some reason he didn’t take too kindly to that – MEN! He was adamant about having another opportunity to prove himself (bless his lil heart); me being such a caring, compassionate woman, I obliged.

During the “make-good” encounter we entered into a conversation about my first travel experience…now you guys should know I LOVE to talk, so in the midst of my rant he sneaks me…yeah, you know what I mean; he’d put the condom on and was on his way…WHY? Your guess is as good as mine. To my surprise he egged me on in this foolish episode of – “Sex and the Trip to Disney.” I wasn’t used to this kind of “experience” but was caught so off guard and by the time I regained my senses it was over.

Now, this dude is on point…I mean, he’s good-looking, intelligent and has his life in fairly good order and he’s a really nice guy with a hint of thuggish goodness, so I TRIED to stay into him, or at least let him stay “into” me…haha (sorry). I went on a few more weeks and encounters, but things were just not good. He just could NOT start anything up without engaging me in some senseless idol chatter…he had to get me talking about something before he could make his move. Now, I’ve heard people say they love the sound of my voice, but this was just RE-GAL-DANG-DIK-U-LIS!!!

The final ACT:
I’m lying in my bed FURIOUS at the fact that he’s just laying there (like he didn’t know why he was there). He’s playing this “shy” role like he doesn’t know what to do, but I knew what he wanted…I knew what he was waiting for…he wanted me to talk. That sick bastrid was waiting to hear my “seductive” voice tell a story then he’d make his move. Well since I was hip to his give, I kept quiet. He started talking about clubs in the area and I fell prey to his scheme and engaged - that was all she wrote, he quickly mounted me as I lay on my stomach with my head resting on my folded arms. He’d put the condom on and was going for a homer – NOT! “get the hell offa me!” is what escaped my lips with disgust…”this is so over…I refuse to play into this insanity.” Well, he didn’t leave right away, but when he did he said, “I’ll call you later.” WHY! Sir, this is a done deal.

I told a male friend about the strange experience and he said…”some people like sniffing panties and some like having “random” conversations during sex…it’s whatever gets you off.”

So, the question is: what bizarre fetishes have you experienced or exhibited?