Could It Be The Music

Music - the mood changer, the booty shaker, baby maker - Music - Soothes the soul, makes you whole, or feeling alone to - Music - What a wonderful gift! It inspires and creates all types of energy and emotions. Now, the thing is separating what was created by music, from what already existed!

Is it Love, or could it just be the music?

It's amazing how much power music has over us, it plays our heart strings like a harp and we become willing puppets. We hate songs associated with bad relationships and love those attached to good. Music jogs our memory and gives us hope...sometimes false hope. It'll have you making phone calls you probably shouldn't, or deciding a certain person is "made for you" is it all true or could it just be that music?

I LOVE music and artist with the ability to speak to me inspiring(ly). TMI, but I think music adds to an intimate setting and I try to never go without it. Here's one of my favorite artist sweeping the airwaves today...have a listen to this. There are no pictures in this youtube and I'm glad, because there's no distraction with visuals...just listen to the orchestra in the back providing that angelic melody as you take in those words, but don't take in TOO much. (lol)

Ne-Yo "Say It"



When you've got music like this going around it's no wonder people think they're fallen in love!

p.s. For those of you who can't do youtube at work...I've put the song in my inspirations section off to the right.

Question?

My little couple of days off are about over, so I'm winding down now. Anyway, I have a question for you guys.

I've always been a loner-type of person; I'm social, but need quiet 'me' time. I don't have to be completely alone, but the setting needs to be calm. Even if I'm just at home cleaning or doing something productive (to me).

I've had conversations about my need for solitude in regard to personal relationships with loved ones (male or female). Sometimes I'll just get quiet... shutdown within myself when I can't shut down my surroundings. My question is;

Is there a such thing as spending too much time with loved ones?

Married people are together everyday and although there is strong love and like between the two (I HOPE), is there a point when you feel like you need a break from that person and if so...how would you take it?

Real Random

Sorry, but there won't be any wisdom shared today...Sojourner's out of town and since I quit my job yesterday (LOL) I'm chillen like a muh-@#$%.

Real Random:

There are a couple words/terms that when said in a certain manner, crack me up. One of those terms is Bald-Head, used as an insult...I can't help it; whenever I use it as a term of endearment toward my friends - "Baldhead-smallhead," we all laugh hysterically (yeah, we're all silly).

What one word or term tickles you?

I heard on the news where a crack addict in Georgia bought three rocks (crack rocks) and after smoking one, discovering she'd been duped and given some whack-crack, she called the cops and reported the dealer for selling bad drugs; consequently, she was arrested.

I don't have a link to the story, but thought I'd tell it anyway...what an amazing show of today's madness.

Here's a video from one of my favorite groups/bands. Notice that first lead singer, with the raspy voice...if he sounds familiar it's because he's kin-folk to my all time favorite...Sam Cooke.

That Ol' Time Religion

That back-n-the-day mother/grandmother who walked around in slides and a housedress humming in the spirit…that ol’ time religion.

That closet that doubled as a prayer room, that oil placed on your forehead before your days journey- “cover him/her in the blood of Jesus”- that ol’ time religion.

That fasting, praying and calling on the Lord for her family in times of trouble- that ol’ time religion is too far gone. The mama’s and grandmama’s hardly pray anymore; there’s no covering for the children’s head. Sin has taken over because there’s too few fighting the battle; not enough to ward off the attacks of the enemy.

Where are the warriors-the soldiers-the gate keepers-the care taker’s the one’s that slumber not, nor sleep.

In Helen Baylor’s testimony, she talks about all the wrongs she’d done in her life from drugs to promiscuity and how her deliverance wasn’t due to the relationship she had with the Lord, but because she had a “praying grandmother.’

Our homes are in shambles, our children are misguided, our streets are plagued with violence because there is no one tilling the land; the gate keeper has fallen asleep and allowed evil to run rampant. People are walking around like hallow shells, looking for any and everything to fill them; dazed and confused, lost and abused-the harvest is ripe, but the laborer’s are few! We need that ol’ time religion back…we need those prayer warriors who KNOW that “Greater is He that is in me, then he that is in the world.” (1 John 4:4). We need those soldiers who’ll never get tired!

My Alabaster Box

People often ask me why I, a conscious black woman, would believe in Jesus Christ, the religious figure of my/our oppressor (White America). And, I must admit it's something I've struggled with in times past; as I'd watch footage of klan action against my people and here them proclaim Christ, or as I'd see the stain of racism on the face of a clergymen as he forces an embrace around me and mine. As my anger grew toward the injustice’s brought forth by racial disparity, questions arose about my faith.

Was it planted in me through history? As my people adopted European names, did they also adopt Christ? Is He real and is He mine? I began to challenge my belief like De' Carte, but I didn’t throw away everything unknown and unproven. In this case, “God knew my heart,” and prepared a mental quest for me. He allowed me to remember His presence; He allowed me to feel His hand; He allowed me to find comfort as I lay at His feet then He allowed me to ask questions and blessed me with answers.

I didn’t come to love, know or want to believe, but He called me by name, with no doing of my own. I knew there was something different about me from childhood and I knew that difference was my relationship with the Lord. I wasn’t comfortable being out of His grace and I couldn’t wait to get home to listen to my gospel and hear the word on the radio. He reminded me of those times and I can hear Him saying, “Before you were in love with being Black, you were in love with Me.” “Before we were introduced, you Knew Me.”

I’ve stopped asking questions and separated Christ from the foolishness of the world. I’ve decided not to allow the distorted thinking and behaviors of others to tarnish my faith. I’ve accepted my calling. I view things as isolated incidents of evil workers and not a spiritual plan to further stifle the growth of my culture. When people ask me why I ,a conscious black woman, would believe in Jesus Christ, I say because I’ve tried Him and I Know Him…I didn’t come by this on accident and I wasn’t trained in my thinking; my life pays daily for this relationship and the cost is dear.

Randomness

Today I'm going to share a few of my most despised phrases!

1)“It was love at first sight!” – I hate to hear people say this…there’s no such thing to me; love takes time. You might be really attracted to a person and have a strong connection, but it’s not love.

2)“I’ve put my life on hold for my children!” – WHAT? Why aren’t your children considerd your life.

3)“He’s such a good man for taking care of his kids.” – I really can’t stand this phrase; I don’t really feel accolades should be given to a parent for doing what a parent SHOULD do.

4)“Those kids are so bad!” – NO, those kids parent's are so bad.

5)“If you step out of your comfort zone, you’d see I’m a good guy.” - WHY??? Why should I be uncomfortable for YOU...get outta my face please-thanks!

6)“But, God knows my heart!” - OHHHH boy, please don’t use that as an excuse to stay in ya mess.

7)“Well, can we just be friends? “ NO! Friendship is not requested...it’s built, and not based on you wanting to get your foot in the door…again, please get outta my face.

8) "Maybe He's not gay...maybe he's bisexual!" WHAT... well if there's a difference to you then gon' keep the party going...THERE'S NO DIFFERENCE, HE'S GAY!!!!

OK...HAPPY FRIDAY GUYS...HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND! Enjoy one of my favorite songs and videos!

Wise Counsel #2

Here we go again guys and since nic didn't like the owl, I don't have a pic...(you happy now...sheesh) . Sorry this one might be a bit long, but I hope it's a blessing.


Situation:

I have this friend that I’m REALLY feeling and I think he’s feeling me too, but doesn’t speak on it much. We’ve tried to deal with each other intimately, but things just kinda died down for no real reason other then we didn’t try hard enough, I guess. All in all, I can’t help feel there’s something really special between us; I smile inside every time I talk to him. I know it’s not love, but it’s something really special and I’d really like to see where things can go, but I don’t want to bring it up again. I made my feelings known before, but never really said anything too serious; I didn’t want to scare him away since we’re friends and all, so I feel like I should let him bring it up again. What do you think?

Anon

F.O.:
Ahhh the LOC (lack of communication) Merry-Go-Round. Who hasn't taken a turn or thousand on that particular beast?
I've seen too many situations where both parties want the same thing, but neither is willing to let the other know. Either there is a lack of ability to express themselves (which is something that can plague any relationship) or there is a fear of some sort of rejection. Let's deal with each.

Inability: This situation can be overcome if the person who doesn't have a problem expressing themselves has the ability to accurately read the signs that are definitely there, the patience to let the other person do the best they can in their own way, the confidence to not need to hear everything verbally or have it spelled out for them and the willingness to allow the other person to be who they are and appreciate what's on the inside. If neither of you are this person, it's going to be tough.

Fear (of rejection): This one had paralyzed many a relationship and many an individual. There are any variety of reasons why this exists that aren't important to go into here, just know that it exists. No one likes to be rejected. No one wants to have their face cracked and it has happened at one time or the other in one way or the other to either of us. For this reason, no one seems to want to make the first move. This is particularly tragic if both want the same thing and are waiting for the other.

Here's the thing. From what you are saying, it sounds as if it could be just you feeling this way. When you speak of the fact that you took a run and it didn't quite work out, that you brought it up before and he didn't really respond favorably and that you "don't want to scare him away," it sounds like a one sided thing. Your side.

You've got two choices: 1) Leave it at friends and potentially preserve your feelings, assuming he is not feeling you. 2) Put it all on the table (gently) and ask him how he feels. If he agrees, take off on the beginnings of a possibly great relationship. If he gives "I'm sorry Boo" signals, maintain your grace and do what you can to maintain the friendship. But don't take it to hard, because you never know what another person has in their present or past. Take it that God is lookin' out for you and keep it movin'.

Personally, I vote option 2. Life is to short for coulda, shoulda, woulda's.

S.O.:
That’s a big deal. I take matters of the heart really seriously, and I believe order is divine, so here is the order of my opinion.
1)Please make sure you've weighed out every thing about this man and the two of you as a couple. It would be terrible to buckle into this ride then find yourself screaming in mid-air to get off.
2)Once you’ve decided that you know that you KNOW you want every bit of this man and you guys are a good fit,speak! Make sure you both have time to talk because you shouldn’t have this conversation again.
3)Clearly and directly tell him how you feel about him and ASK THE QUESTION; How do you feel about me and us pursuing a relationship?
4)Please avoid getting emotional; you don’t want to guilt him into his decision and since there’s a preexisting friendship to preserve, you want to keep him comfortable with the conversation.
5)When it’s over, IT’S OVER! I’ve never been one for persistence in things like this. Once he’s spoken his mind go from there…good or bad.
6)Be honest with yourself; if his response is not favorable and it’s hard for you emotionally then give yourself a break from him for a while. Give yourself time to heal. I didn’t mention this in the beginning, but it’s something I’d be doing throughout the situation; PRAY! Pray for God’s will to be done and not yours, pray for Divine intervention…pray for clarity and then pray for peace.

P.S. SOJOURNER AND MIZ HAVE A SPECIAL EDITION OF THEIR SOAP TODAY...SO CHECK IT OUT!!!

"What Do I Want To Be When I Go To Jail"

Ok, now I know prison is like the one place where you have seemingly, all the time in the world to think about your life, but why do most of our people wait until THEN to hone in on their creative juices and find their purpose in life…and for some it’s just temporary.

I know too many men who’ve seen the inside of a prison cell and while there, they’ve discovered they can sing, rap, dance, cut-hair, cook, draw, write, mentor, speak and even run track (hey, why not). I know it’s all about using your time wisely and being productive, but again…for most, these new found talents and interest are time-passer, sold to family and friends as "new leaves." These hobbies are hardly ever seriously pursued post-prison…you ever see an Olympic-Track-Star-Ex-Con? Yeah, me neither, but anything’s possible. We've got ex gang leaders writing children’s books and serial killers turned preachers...you didn't see these "callings" while on the street? Ok!

Now, I'm not downing these brothers, I'm just saying...just making an observation. I was also having a conversation with a friend and we talked about prisoners being allowed to obtain degrees while serving their time. Free education as payment for your crimes...hum? Now the flip side to that is, it's pretty much an ego-booster, since society has not yet seen ex-cons fit to hold jobs requiring degrees, but there are too many people on the outside going through hell and hot water to pay for schooling when all they had to do was WRONG to make their lives RIGHT!

I KNOW all these extracurricular activities are to keep their minds off what's really going on, but at the same time...TIME has afforded them the luxury of pursuing and finding their purpose...hardly seems fair to people who've lived by the law. As ironic as it may seem, I'm actually attempting to institute a Prisoner Reform Program here in Philly (one of my MANY projects) but that's basically for those guys who are serious about getting their lives back when they've gotten it back and not pretend to be on another path because their locked down.

I remember seeing the homemade cards with drawings on them some maybe even just a painted hand decorated to look like a turkey for Thanksgiving (LOL...sorry)This really isn't funny...I just wish my brother's would see all this creativity, all this potential BEFORE they get locked up for life!

P.S - DON'T FORGET TO EMAIL ME AND SOJOURNER YOUR SITUATIONS FOR BE ADVISED ON - THEY'LL BE POSTED TOMORROW!!!

Whoes Line is it ANYWAY???

I love movies and every time I turn around I'm quoting one (I've even given points for those getting them right) well...this entire post is dedicated to some of my favorite movie lines...call it a trivia since I'm not telling whose line it is...let's see if you guys can guess:

1) “What I'm gone do wit two mor kids?”

2) “Y’all picken up what I’m putten down?”

3) “Ain’t nobody come to see you Ottis!”

4) “You gon eat cha cornbread?”

5) “Chico, get da ya-yo!”

6) “Never have so few owed so much to so many!”

7) “Don’t chu neva say nothing 'gainst my mama!”

8) “Can somebody tell me how to get my ol man back?”

9) “I’ve loved you since I was 11 and the shyte just won’t go away!”

10) “Hoe’s gotta eat too!”

11) “Everybody love a parfait”

12) "You got-a boat; what kind-a boat chu got?"

13) "Keep dem gott-damn babies out the street!"

14) "You gon let dis nappy-head girl talk to you like that?"

15) "You know what I'm gone let you do for me; I'm gone let you suck my..."


I've got lots more, but I'll save them for another time when I don't feel like writing...LOL!

FYI, Sheletha's not gotten one wrong YET and nic's a close second, so put cha A-game on people!

I Think, Therefore, I AM (at least to somebody)

GUESS WHAT GUYS...INGRID THINKS I THINK, AND HAS HONORED ME WITH THIS AWARD TO PASS ON TO YOU: (I made a lil boo-boo; Sojourner gave me this honor about a month or so ago and I FAILED to do the post-sorry dude). I'm sure most of you have been honored with this already and all others have seen it, so no need for an intro.

dcsavvy: I happened upon this young lady by way of another blogger (who'll be mentioned below)and loved the look and feel of her page, oh the radiance of that bright star. She was entertaining, but thought provoking to say the least; that neighborhood post sealed things for me, and she's not stopped yet.

Dj Black Adam: I'm sure he's been honored before, but I'm keeping this real-real...lol. The majestic figure sitting in that chair adorned in super-hero attire and crowned with wisdom has captured my attention from day one; from religion, politics to race relations, his post are always informative and interesting.

Sugar & Spice: MAN, sometimes I hate going to their site because I don't want to think ALL THE TIME...LOL. I'm drawn into them with EVERY post and I'm forced to engage. They're on a mission to guide and protect women as they embark on journey's into life, love and relationships and they do it with THUNDER! This is also where I found dcsavvy...double blessing.

Nupe: Now this dude doesn't even blog on a regular basis, but he floats around blogworld like some sort of guardian angel (using angel real loosely) LOL. He's such an intellectual and you'd think he'd JUST be a geek, but NO...he's got a heck of a sense of humor...what a force (I'm a movement by myself...hahah). Thanks for ALL you do dude...we've got much work in store...can't wait!

This last spot is shared because I just couldn't leave any of these guys out; finding them was the gateway into blog-heaven for me. Most times I just read and don't contribute, mainly because there's never much for me to expand on...I usually just agree. Such super-powers these Kings are and I'm pleased to sit on the side and feed on their knowledge and leadership: Mark, Field Negro, Native Son, Assult, Sojourner,

Wise Counsel-Preview

Boy, are you guys in for a treat; this piece of knewness is going to serve as an advice column…kinda like dear Abby. The Bible tells us to seek wise counsel and since I wear glasses…I think that qualifies me as such, AND since everybody’s always requiring a second-opinion , I’ve gotten with one of the wise men, no, not one that was led to Christ, but one from blogworld (although he was led to Christ too...just a couple thousand years later).

Here’s how things are going down; I’ve added a page element on the side of my page with email addresses for you guys to send real-life situations and dilemmas for Sojourner (the wise man) and myself to offer a First and Second Opinion on. If you’d like to give your situation anonymously, you can leave it in the comment section of the current post on either page. The situations (no more than 3) and opinions will be displayed every Thursday for your reading pleasure. Just for the record, neither of us are licensed therapists or counselors (YET-I'm working on it). We are just two people with opinions for those who are looking for objective feedback on their situations or questions.

Now, just to wet your whistle…here’s a real sample situation:

"THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR?!"

I have this female friend, who’s got a thing for me, but I’m not interested in her because she’s a bug-a-boo. We tried kick’n it for a minute, but she just really gets on my nerves, but I didn’t have a problem being friends. About a week ago, I had to attend a seminar in AC and asked her if she wasn’t doing anything would she like, to go so we went...no problem.

Well, I was telling this to a friend and they asked why I even invited her since I’m always talking about how she gets on my nerves, and I said because I needed a ride. My friend got all upset and called me a user, but I made sure I wasn’t imposing on her or anything…she didn’t have to go if she didn’t want to AND what’s wrong with us being friends? Do you think I was wrong?

Anonymous

F.O. (First Opinion) :

I'd have to agree with your friend, because if she gets on your nerves why be bothered? Also, and this is the most important thing to me, you knew how she felt about you. Just because you turned her in the ‘off’ position doesn’t mean she’s done the same with you; she’s going to grab hold of any chance she gets, so asking her to go away somewhere was misleading; you built false hopes just because you wanted a ride. You may have viewed things as being harmless, but didn't give much thought as to how she’d feel during and after the trip when you’ve gotten back to dismissing her and ‘friends’ don’t treat each other that way. Thanks for offering this situation and I hope my opinion helped, if not…here's another!

S.O. (Second Opinion):

Couple clues here from your own words.
1)"...thing for me but I'm not interested in her": There's nothing wrong with building or maintaining a friendship with someone that you are "not feelin' that way," but the fair and compassionate thing to do is to make your feelings clear from the start. I don't know if you've done that. If she's not able to get where you are as far as feelings, distance might be in order for both of you. Since she gets on your nerves, I'm not sure why you want to spend any time with her at all.

2)"She's a bug-a-boo": This term alone indicates either her neediness or just a basic personality trait. We've all run into them at some point in our lives. You seem to be running away from it...or are you? Why would you engage a bug-a-boo? That's like an asthmatic smoking a cigarette, you're just asking for it.

3)"I needed a ride": This is the key. Your reasoning didn't involve getting to know her, building the relationship, wanting to do something nice for her or trying to put the friendship on the right footing. You needed a ride. At best, though you say you made sure it wasn't an imposition, a person can never fully understand the emotional imposition we place on others. Men are particularly susceptible to failure of taking into account the feelings of women. Face it; a lot of things get missed. And if you realize the possibility but forge ahead anyway, you're failing to pay attention at best and inconsiderate at worst.
My opinion, based only on what you've said? You're a user.

Lyrically Affected #4 (Body & Soul)

This is a classic in every way...the words, the singing and the artist...LOVES IT!

verse 1: -It's amazing how the joys and pains of love have the same symptoms. I remember singing this verse with tears streaming down my face...on the pain side.

What have you done to me
I can't eat, I cannot sleep
And I'm not the same anymore

verse 2: -DAG, "all of me what's all of u" those are some powerful words...then the QUESTION. You can't really feel bad about where you are with relationships if you never ask the question.

I don't know what to do
All of me wants all of you
Do I stand alone at the shore?

verse 3 & Chorus: - I love falling in love and remembering when it started, remembering when you COULD turn away, but NOW! There's that question again.

Now once I coud turn away
From everything I feel today
But, now I want to walk
through your door
(chorus)
But I've got to know - oh
Body and soul
That you've got no doubt
inside and out
We are whole - oh
Body and soul
Don't leave me out in the cold
Just love me body and soul
-do you hear me baby-

verse #4 & #5 - Man, this is mature love ("livin for what wasn't mine") this is after you've wasted time with foolishness and now YOU'RE ready for good...you've worked on you and want nothing less then best. wow, I love these lyrics.

I've wasted too much time
Livin' for what wasn't mine
Then came the day I found you
And now I want nothing less
I've found a love that is truly blessed
I wanna make dreams come true

bridge: - WOW... I know the answer to this, but these words make me want to ask the question...DOES THIS LOVE STILL EXIST? People nowadays seem to rush into things and miss all this...the emotional development. You've GOT to have you heart and mind ready to experience this thing...you can't come with baggage, or somebody's getting cheated...man, falling in love is an amazing thing..."everybodies always talking bout fallen in love; fallen in love ain't s!#$, somebody please talk to me about how to stay there!" (20 points if you tell me where THAT line's from)

Every day is getting better,
The more I trust I feel
stronger, stronger
Every kiss brings me closer,
It feels good to love you
inside

(ad lib)
is there any doubt
in your mind?

And NOW, without further ado, Mrs. Anita Baker!!!

H.M.H.A. Volumn #1

As part of the Knewness, I’m introducing a series of post that pretty much reflect my Half-Man side…lol. For those of you who’ve never heard me refer to myself as such, the name was given to me by friends and pretty much stems from my views (on certain things) that seem skewed toward a male perspective, AND since I’m an AND 1 fan and love to watch Half-Man, Half-Amazing, I’ve gladly accepted the name…with that out of the way…welcome to HMHA #1 Violence – Domestic and Non!

“snakes and snails and puppy dog’s tails, that’s what little boys are made of!”
“sugar and spice and everything nice, that’s what little girls are made of!”
“Real Men Don’t Hit Women!”

Potential batterer’s of women are usually detected and/or assumed during adolescence; young boys are closely watched and scolded for displaying violent tendencies toward their female counterparts.

These testosterone filled beings are taught to be MEN; there is an image to uphold, that strong leader-head of the household-provider type of man; that “handle ya biz” – protector type of man…doing what you’ve got to do, but never hit a woman type of man, this is what little boys are made to be and what a wonderful thing.

He’s learning his lessons, vibe'n off the thoughts of manhood, when all of the sudden this little girl hits him…the children are laughing…”AHHHH…SHE HIT THE MESS OUTTA HIM!!!” His ear is ringing from their banter and the impact of her palm as she slapped him on the side of the face, before she ran. Infuriated, he charges after her, but is thwarted by the outraged looking teacher saying…”I KNOW you don’t think you’re about to hit her in FRONT of me…what’s wrong with you…boys don’t hit girls!”

Boy’s don’t hit girls, Boy’s don’t hit girls, Boy’s don’t hit girls-over and over…years and years; the message resonates into his mind, etched into his soul…his character is formed, his Kingly stature is a force by itself. His brain has been trained, but his heart may still hold resentment for those female counterparts who’ve always been allowed to get away with doing the one thing him and every male was punished and marred for. Maybe he’ll pay them back with heartache instead!? (hum).

Domestic Violence is a VERY serious issue:
An estimated 5.3 million cases of domestic violence occur among US women 18 and older each year, resulting in nearly 2 million injuries. On average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends in the US every day and I’m sure we’ve all heard the correlation between domestic violence and child abuse, but there’s another side to this sad story, the side that is rarely told.

The story of the boy-guy-man, who heard the message, listened to the rules and kept his hands in his pockets, while he wondered…”how come they never told-taught-made the girls keep her hands to herself!” How come when I tried to leave she wouldn’t let me and kept throwing things at me…and dared me to raise a hand, or I’d be in jail. How come she disrespects and calls me names…just pushing ALL my buttons. How come when I left her alone she found my car and slashed my tires and bust my windows. How come she’s at my job causing a scene every chance she gets…how come nobody ever told her that a girl was to grow into a QUEEN and “Queens shouldn’t swing, if you know what I mean, but (she’s) about to take her earrings off and get her some Vaseline” – (I know this is a serious topic, but 10 points if you know where that line’s from).

As many of you know, I'm the mother of two sons and my youngest was in a situation described above...he was that school boy torn between, "my momma said, don't let NOBODY pick on you...she said I should defend myself, but the world says only a 'punk' hits a women, yet, only a 'punk' doesn't fight back" I continue to teach my boys the stance of a man-a King and that includes letting them know what a Queen looks like.

The bottom line here people, which I’m sure you’ve known halfway through this post, is AGAIN we as apart of this great society have perpetuated another double-standard, I’m NOT saying that males should hit females, but we’ve GOT to stop teaching our girls wrong, or not teaching them anything at all. We got to set their conduct to give what they wish to receive; we've got to train our young ladies to be women of virtue, to be Queens!