Tears to Heaven

I thought I'd leave something small and light since I didn't have anything to write (lol...didnt rhyme that on purpose) All the spots I've visited today were shared writings so I thought I'd share something I wrote some years ago. I never call anything poetry it's just-me-writing...this is something I said to God on paper...a cry from my soul sending some Tears to Heaven.



Tears to Heaven


God
Please tell me what I’m doing wrong and why have I been made to hurt so long.
Not as long as others, but too long for me.
I love You, and I long to see the good You have in store for me.
Life for me could be so much worse, but that doesn’t stop the pain when it hurts.
I don’t know what my future holds, the days seem so long and the nights are cold;
I lay in weeping and wake in mire.
Oh my God, I’m so tired…I can’t, I won’t, I could never leave You;
God I NEED You. I’m lying down beneath You frail and broken.
In every place within me
I NEED You Lord to heal me.
Not just temporary, but for now and ever.
Show me what You want me to see, tell me who You want me to be.
I will not give up because of my love for You…
because if it were left up to me…
I’d be through!!!

Heaven and Hell

A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said, Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like."

The Lord led the holy man to two doors. He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in. In the middle of the room was a large round table.
In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water.

The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly.

They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful, but because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.
The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.

The Lord said, "You have seen Hell."

They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water.

The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing
and talking.
The holy man said, "I don't understand."
It is simple" said the Lord, "it requires but one skill. You see,
they have learned to feed each other, while the greedy think only of themselves."

Selfishness is contagious, but so is Love...share the wealth and have a great weekend...(p.s...I didn't write that story, but I hope you enjoy and apply)

OK...THAT'S IT!!!

I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO JUMP NOW...

BECAUSE I CAN'T TAKE THIS...

'ME EYES, DEY BLEED'



WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE... AND MORE IMPORTANTLY... WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?????????

The Great Gray Hope!

I was browsing blogs yesterday and came across Black Womanist's post on interracial dating (Part 2-Unchartered Territory). Here the author provided great insight into the world of RACE-MIXING, equipted with a list/link to photo's of famous interracial couples (please check her page). Anyway, all that reading prompted me to post the following question for us to answer/me first...LOL.

1)How do you feel about interracial dating? I personally LOVE MY BLACK MEN too much to even think about anything else, and I'd say I'm on the very-strong against it side.

2)Why do you think most Black Men opt to date White women? I think it's a 'forbidden-fruit' desire to have that which has been deemed 'off-limits' for so many years... and thereby making them the 'ultimate catch'.

3)Why do you think most Black Men opt to date ANY Non-Black race of woman? I think they view them as 'easier' to deal with. I've heard Black men consider Black women to be; overly aggressive, under acheiving, selfish, money-grubbing, lazy, unattentive and unsupportive of their Black Men.

4)Why do you think most Black Woman opt to date other races of men? I think most Black women open themselves up to interracial dating, because they've grown tired of the bad experiences envolving Black men...they want 'better'...they feel to many of the sterotypes hold true and their woe's have gotten the better of them.

5)What impact does society play on the decision to MIX? I remember growing up watching MTV and all the 'cool' prodominately white shows and feeling like... "DAMN WHITE IS ALRIGHT" and I sure would like to be apart of that world....OOOOHHHHH WEEEEE!!! In the words of Uncle Ruckus (no relation-BOONDOCKS) I just loved looking at all the pretty "vanilla faces" 'Good Times', was too much reality tv for me...NO THANK YOU COLOREDS...I'm moving on to BRIGHTER and BETTER things. (basicly, I wished I was white). The picture always painted by society was White=Good and Black=Bad, so as close as you can get yourself to the White line is the safest place for any dark-complected person to be; in a nut shell...society JACKS STUFF UP.

6)What do you see being the biggest issue with interracial dating? a)I think the possible inferiority complex that can develop within our Black counterparts/oppisite sex. b)The dismantling of the Black family structure. c) The inevitable impediment of trying to relate to each others culture.

7)Are you or should you be considered racist if you don't go for mixing? I'd say no, Nationlist thrive on the Pride of their own...'I LOVE ME SOME US', and there's nothing wrong with that as long as you don't condem, judge and hate others for being on the other side of the line.

8)Do you have a different reaction to Black Woman with White Men vs. Black Men with White Woman? HECK YEAH I DO... I know, just another of my era's in thinking (maybe). I dated a guy who said he 'preferred' dating white women (see question #2). After I revived myself from my faint, was then told (I'm an exception OF COURSE) but I was so hurt to hear a Black Man say he PREFERS another race...dag, dude wasn't even really leaving things to chance...this was what he sought after. I told of the faithfulness of most Black Women to Black Men, and he said..."that's because most up-standing, professional, intelligent White Men don't really prefer to date a Black Woman'...basically, 'I/We don't really want you and neither do they'. So when I see Black Woman with White Men (serious/married) it's kinda like 'NOW!' We're a prize even to them.

9)Under what circumstances would you date outside of your race? I'd do it only if the guy was Black...(lol, sorry)


I'm sure this post might not sit well with some people, but please don't think me terrible; some of the closest friends are white (seriously...lol) I just love black men. I encourage people to go for what they know and find love where they can, but just as one might think you shouldn't limit yourself to one race, I think you shouldn't hold the wrongs of some to be the end all of that race.

'when i grow up, i wanna be like my mommy...

As parents we love to see our children taking an interest in our interest...it just brings a smile to our face and joy to our heart, "look at my lil mini-me". Well, I, like all you other parents, feel very strongly about the aforementioned, but believe our little tikes may require a lil push...a lil probing to steer them in the 'right' direction.

With that said, I'd like to tell you how I'm going about doing so with my very own baby son, (Bless his lil mimicking heart).

My baby son, aka, my youngest who just turned 11, has decided to put together a band with one of his friends... YIPPY, (I've always wanted to be apart of a band). My b.s (baby son) has taught himself to play the keyboard and is becoming quite good, (I've always loved the sound of the paino) Anyway, he's going to play keyboards and his friend is going to play the electric guitar (don't really know how good he is, but I'm sure we can work with him).

Like any good band they'll need a hook...a theme...a genre, so me being the loving, enlightened mother I am, suggested they be somewhat of a Civil Rights band, and adding songs like 'Come by Here Dear Lord' and 'We Shall Overcome' to their repertoire of music to perform. I even went so far as to suggest they call themselves, "Baby Black Panthers" (that's hot...my baby's gone be just like his mommy).

Since I must show my support, I'm putting myself in the mix and didn't stop with the hook and name suggestion...no way, what kind of mother do you think I am? I've also taken the liberty of getting their wardrobe together; image is EVERYTHING! I've invisioned them adorned in a multi-colored dashiki with a matching (Eddie Murphy: Golden Child/Coming To America) hat, black OR brown sandals and some leather gloves with the fingers cut off (gotta symbolize their youth) and no self-respecting civil-rights youth band would be caught in concert without the proper attire.

I didn't want to intrude or impose too much of myself on the precious little babies, despite how much he wants to be like mommy, I'm forced to encourage his individuality, so I'm pretty much leaving the other aspects of our band up to him and his friends.

I hope my sharing this peek into the life of me, the mother, has convinced all you others to be more involed in the life and interest of your children...after all, they are mirrors of us!

p.s I'll let you know how things turn out with the band...hopefully I'll be able to send some pictures of them all wearing their lil outfits...(bless his lil mimicking heart)

This has been a joke...I hope it brought tears of laughter (as it did me while writing it) LOL!

START SNITICHING!!!

I did a post ONLY a month ago announcing the 94th Murder here in my fair city of brotherly love (see- Back to Basics), well with the 11 murders that took place over the weekend we're at 127 for the year.

ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY SEVEN MURDERS = 127 MURDERS = 31.75 MURDERS PER MONTH = 7.9 MURDERS PER WEEK = 1.1 MURDERS PER DAY (with only 28 days being in February and 6 days left in April...well you do the rest of the math)

Needless to say, this city is killing itself litterally! I'd also like to note that the MAJORITY of the PERPERTRATORS AND VICTIMS are AFRICAN AMERICAN, BLACK, COLORED, NEGROES. ( Map showing the demographics of LAST YEARS VICTIMS, which are pretty much the same as this years)

Who is made to suffer through these ordeals... WE, US AND OUR CHILDREN, but we have the idiotic audacity to support and promote campaigns and slogans like STOP SNITICHING!!!

There are those who don't hold or subscribe to the idiology that in order to have unity within the black community we must NOTconform, NOTreform and NOTalign with the police and any other government official aka DA MAN, but even those conformist, reformist, 'I love everybody and just want peace' CAN'T seem to find there way to the mic to speak in it. NOBODY'S TELLING ANYTHING! Yeah, I'm sure out of fear, but probable the more widely used reason most Black people keep quite is because 'It's not MY BIZNESS'... well anytime a 30something year old man can be struck and KILLED by a bullet coming through his BEDROOM window on a Sunday afternoon (Easter Sunday) while he's getting ready for WORK, SOMEBODY had betta make it their BUSINESS.

Gone are the days were the victims are gangbangers, street runners, huslers, hookers, addicts, and crooks...the victims are 13 year old girls walking to the corner store at 7:00 pm to get a loaf of bread...the victims are 12 year old boys sticking their key in the door at 3:30 after a long day at school...the victims are so average, so innocent, so daily. There is no place to hide, no extra precaution to take, no previsions to make...you're just dead by chance and the chances have become as slim as those old virginia cigaretts.

WE, US, THE BLACK COMMUNITY have to care enough to make it our BUSINESS. We've got to start TELLING when we see and KNOW of criminal activity going on in our FACE, because the fool pulling the trigger don't give a damn that you didn't tell on him the LAST time...it's YOU or YOURS THIS time...so what are you gonna do about it.

This is a simple public notice...comment if you please!!!

PLEASE MY PEOPLE...PEACE AND LOVE!!!!

Happy Friday

Ok...since I don't post on weekends and with all the drama in the world, I'm posting a 2nd for today (OHHH...LOOK OUT NOW) LOL. I'm sure most have seen this lil funny before, but I hope you laugh AGAIN! Love, Peace and Loc Grease/Pray, Trust and Believe


WHO IS JACK SCHITT

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?

We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack
Schitt!' Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in
an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the
fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N.
Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple
produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull
Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a
high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt>divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids
were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was
then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son
with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the
other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable
throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in
a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the
Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently
returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.


Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt

...a few of my favorite things.

I recently did a post of my top peeves and thought it would create cyber equality to give my top NON-peeves...lol, so here are a few of my favorite things:

1.) Swinging really high on a swing while listening or singing my favorite song...the sky is pretty blue and the breeze is warm.

2.) Due to some technical issue within the building, my job has to close at 10:00 am on a beautiful payday-Friday....DELICIOUS!!! LOL

3.) A little old black woman smiling at me when I get on the bus

4.) Hearing my sons laugh and play with each other.

5.) Watching young girls jump rope on the sidewalk.

6.) Smiling while thinking of that special someone...then they happen to call.

7.) Braiding my grandmother's hair while the rest of my family talks, laughs and watches tv. A.K.A. Family Get-togethers

8.) Surprise Sales and you can use all your coupons. (loves it)

9.) Cooking a good (by their standards) dinner for my sons

10.) Feeling the presense of the Lord (I saved the best for last)

Those are a few of my favs...what are some of yours?

Angry Alien(s)

I was a little apprehensive about posting this blog (thought)...didn't really want to reveal much of my somewhat radical side, but chew on this!!!

Cho Seung-Hui, the infamous V-Tech shooter is walking across campus greenery when some wealthy, bratty, self-serving, (probaby NONBlack) male shoots a crude comment at him (something about Kung-Fu or Yu Gi Oh). He may have then experienced a forced- imagined rememberence of the Vietnam war. His ears caused him to hear cries of what he might consider 'his people'; His brain rewinding to stories he may have been told about US history and Americans...talking to him, murmering to him even beckoning to him. Much like "Carrie" as she stood covered in blood hearing nothing but the taunts and laughter of her mockers, sounds drowned only by the voice of her mother..."they're all gonna laught at chu...they're all gonna laught at chu." Jilted into the present with the thought that 'HERE I AM, and HERE THEY ARE LAUGHING AT ME'.

Time after Time...Again and Again, feelings of inferiority rot the insides of this/those/that particular soul of Asain decent. Intellect meaning nothing, skill mea
ning nothing, willingness to love meaning nothing; You are indeed an Alien. Your Visa/Greencard says so as do the voices around you.

Cho's head became a place for haze; a fuzzy cloudy cozy space for insanity to play. Having grown tired of the assimilation game in a place where no one seems to want to even know your name. YOUR NAME?!?! If it's too hard to pronounce it may be subject to change. YOUR NAME?!?! It's so similar to the rest of your kind that it's all the same to call you Lee. Life: wearing perminent boots of steel that have been bolted to a metal disk spinning around at will and going nowhere.

I HATE THEM...I HATE THEM ALL; for who they are, what they have, and what they've done to me and mine. Festering in that hazy daze...the rot of the hate within his soul, tired and confused he collapses within himself and is nomore.

CRAZY, INSANE, LUNATIC, MANIAC or an Angry Alien having seen injustices and tasted the blood of biting ones own tongue; felt the pang of misfortune and heard the derision that sometimes comes with being different and unable to control/stop the sadness, anger and hate before it consumes you.

This is just something a part of me thought about as I looked at the face of the killer. I found myself sympathizing with him as much as I did for the victims. I pray peace for all the souls and families involved.

Monday Inspiration

Here's one of my Favorite songs from who I consider to be one of the most anointed gospel singers around;Mr. Marvin Sapp. I've shed a many of tears in my living room listening to him and now I invite those who don't know...to hear a little piece of heaven. I hope your ears are blessed and your soul refreshed.

P.S. It may take a minute for the song to upload...so if you have the time...stay online...LOL.(I'm rhyming like crazy today..hahah)

just because...

It seems forever since my last post (did you miss me). Anyway, I have a slight toothache today and a host of other things swirling through my head, so I DARE not attempt to tackle anything of major importance (with my own words) and I think my funny-bone is fractured today...so no jokes (I know, but you'll be ok). However, just because I can, I've decided to post a very enlightening clip from the Boondocks. I don't know how many of you guys have watched this show, but I LOVE IT. I love how Aaron McGruder's mind works; I actually only had the pleasure of seeing my first full episode a couple of weeks ago and have since seen the entire 1st season (several times) lol....hey, I try to support what I love.

This is actually one of the LESS funny clips and contains use of the dreaded "N" word, but please do let things sink in and enjoy. I'll post a MORE funny clip tommorrow.

sorry, I had to come back in to say...WHAT IF?!?!?! What if, WE reacted the way WE reacted in the clip...UMMMM... to think what our state would then be.

WORKING MY LAST NERVE!!!

Ok, I'm going to own my easily agitated persona, but I'm blaming it on wisdom (or ol age). I thought if I let some of this stuff out someone would be sympethic enough to start a support group or SOMETHN!!! So, here is my top 10 list of crap that manages to piss me off from day to day.

1) People who use their chirp phone (AT FULL VOLUME) on the BUS/TRAIN! PLEASE!!! Nobody want's to hear that but YOU!

2) Rude/unpleasent customer service reps. If you don't want to SERVE the CUSTOMER...QUIT!!! (a future blog topic)

3) Mother's who watch their kids do stuff they're not supposed to do, but don't say a word; then look at you nastily because you're looking at them. (I'd like to slap them)

4) People who wear too much jewelry. (LOL...sorry, but come on people do you REALLY need all that?!?!?!)

5) When the circular ad's have a sale on something they DON'T have in the store. (you try to be the first one there and for NOTHING...take it out the damn paper then)

6) People who call me back before the alloted 5 minutes I requested...seriously what's so important that you can't wait FIVE FRIGGEN MINUTES.

7) People who act like they know SOOO much about you based on NOTHING. Sir/Mame, we met ONCE for an hour,please don't run up on me asking about my kids and mom like we grew up together.

8) People who give thoughtless gifts. Ok, I know that sounds cold, but if I've professed my allergy to flowers, why keep giving them to me...THINK! LOL!

9)People who are (I can't even call it) but they try to agree with you so much...they're right on top of your words as you're getting them out; just mindless.

10) Women who come outside looking worse then they did when they went to bed the night before. Stop is LADIES, have some care about your appearance!

ok...whew, I'm glad I got that off my chest...I'm sure there like 14 other things that could have gone ahead of these, but this is what it is FOR NOW! What are some of your peeves

MAD ABOUT THE BOY-We love you Calvin!!!

My blogger sistah did a post on the death of Calvin Lockhart, which I knew NOTHING of until I read her post...I'm STILL broken up about it...cause Lawd knows I lubbed me some C.L...um, um, um. The Boy was just super bad. So to honor him AGAIN, (piggybacking off CC) here's a lil more Calvin (well as much as I can find)!
P.S. the below clip contain photo's of other icons as well with Sam Cooke on the cover (I LOVE HIM TOO) and I do believe that's Dinah Washington singing...enjoy!!!



Calvin Lockhart:
born: September, 18 1934
astrology: Virgo
birth place: Bahamas
cause of death: Complications from a stroke

mini bio: before acting he was in the construction business; was later discovered by playwright Ketti Frings while he was driving a taxi for a living. She was said to be so impressed with his arrogance that she cast him in the play "The Cool World" in 1960 and the sexy legend was born.

personal: He was married to a woman also from the west indies and had three children.

career: over 40 film, theatre and television roles to his credit

trivia: was the first black actor to play leads with the royal shakespear company in england.

Family Reunion

Webster defines Family as: a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head. And/or: a people or group of peoples regarded as deriving from a common stock (RACE).

We however, sometimes regard them as those crazy, annoying, greedy, backstabing, stealing, drunk, lying, sneaky,nosy, drug-addicted users who come to your house uninvited...provided you've told them where you live. We've spent our lives with them, but some know NOTHING about you...and some seem to just not care, but all in all...God birthed you into that unit for a reason... for WHAT/WHY... who knows, but you're HERE.

I was forced into todays topic by my sister (unbeknownst to her. She sent me an email, a personal one (not a forwarded 'it's your day to receive...') but one that not only conveyed feeling from her, but envoked feeling in me. We've lived together FOREVER, but never really got along and now that we don't live together we rarely communicate. I've wondered many times why I've had friends who've gone astray; become disconnected. I've wondered many times why I've had boyfriends who've decided to move on...I've even wondered why despite my relentless efforts to get closer to an individual, they felt NOT. All that; all those wonders, but I've never really wondered why there was such despondency within my own family unit...those I've shared the better parts of life with...those there in the beginning of my lessons. WHY, did I never seem to care to just 'get along'...to even love.

God is calling for ORDER in me today...He's telling me to get my priorities straight. He's asking me to listen to the love that blows through the trees. He wants me to hear the sound of time passing with every drop of rain. AMEND! He's giving opportunity to rejoin, reunite, reconnect, with those estranged members that live right down the street or even in the same house. Things are never really TOO far gone...there's always a way through the Lord.

So today I ask...who's that family member you feel the need to get closer to, to bond with, to just get along and/or to love? After we've thought about the person...start thinking of ways to make it happen. I'm thinking about taking my sister out to dinner!

Thanks guys!

and we wonder WHY?!?!?!

OK, (deep breath) WHAT THE LAHGLJHDAJLJSHJLGHJOAJKLHGJKLAHJKA (that's me yelling, cussing, puking and crying all at the same time)?????? The BOY performing is bad enough, but my OUTRAGE is at the ADULT who thought it proper to film this. I can hear it now..."go head quan (short for daquan) and do irreplacable...Ima film you" If I knew who/where this person was I'd slap them in the mouth. What are we as parent and adults doing with our children what are we/ARN'T we teaching them. The Bible (my favorite book) clearly states: Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs: 22:6) AND Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him. (Proverbs 22:15)

Now the problem is we (adults) are too busy running round thinking stuff like this is CUTE... same as having your foul mouthed 2 year-old cuss out your brother...right is right and WRONG IS WRONG no matter HOW OLD YOU ARE. Again I reiterate...TRAIN UP A CHILD... the programming starts in their YOUTH... it's too late after they've reached 12 and you're catching them with your thong on...talkin bout.."to da left...to da left" but this time he's with lil Ron-ron from down the street...who's given it to him...'TO DA LEFT'... (don't be laughing)

Man, there's really no solution to this, so I guess I'll just hear what you guys have to say. There is however, that age old...'unconditional love' piece...HUM, YES love unconditionally, but don't produce 'bad' fruit (no I'm not calling the child bad) but we've got to look at what we're doing. HE WAS MADE A BOY TO GROW INTO A MAN, how DARE we intrude upon that... we should be warding OFF the attacks of the enemy against our children...not promoting foolishness.

OK...I'M DONE!!! sorry for any offense (if any was taken) but I'm trying to get back to my 'soldier' roots...in the army of the Lord.

"How will I know if he really loves me..."

Hey, I'm sure most of you remember that Whitney song..."I say a prayer with every - heartbeat..." (dag...those were her days) Well, the question remains..."HOW DO YOU ACTUALLY KNOW? " I thought about this when I opened an email (article) displaying the following:
Tyneshis Stewart, 19 was killed by her ex-boyfriend (Timothy Wayne Shepherd age 27) , who dismembered her body and burned it on a patio grill. (March 24, 2007 in Houston Texas). Shepherd confessed to strangling and dismembering Stewart who was home on spring break, because he was angry that she had started a new relationship. When asked by neighbors what he was cooking (for so long and with such a pungent odor), Shepherd replied that he was cooking for a wedding.

NOW, I'd seriously like to know what was going throught that poor young woman's head at that time... I'm sure she thought back on moments past when he may have uttered those care-filled words---"I Love You" what's the separator in this thing called "LOVE" how will you know if he/she REALLY loves you as opposed to them just being a complete bag of nuts (without the chocolate chips). DAMN, there's no three step tester either. We've done some things to people we've claimed to love and in turn we've had some things done to us.

In addition to general feed on this topic, i'd also like to know the worst you've done to "love" and/or the worst done to you.